The Flame is Gone, The Fire Remains
by writehavoc
Summary: This is a direct sequel of "This Is How I Disappear" in my profile. Negan and Chuck have cemented their relationship and are proud parents of a new baby girl. Will they be able to balance their new found parenthood with keeping their community safe from the perils of the world? (Contains: swearing, violence, blood, smut) (Status: Ongoing) (18 plus only)
1. Chapter 1

Chuck and Maddie stay in the infirmary for a couple of days recuperating after the birth. With guards outside the door, of course. Negan stays right there with them, too, in their little curtained off room. When Harlan says that mother and baby are good to go upstairs, they get ready to move back home. Harlan and Arat help get Chuck into the wheelchair as Negan holds Maddie.

"You ready to see your room?" he coos to his tiny daughter.

"She awake?" Chuck asks from the chair.

"Nah. She's fast asleep." He places the baby gently in Chuck arms so they can leave.

Before they can head out, though, there's a knock on the door.

" _You up for some visitors?_ " Simon's voice comes through the door. " _Tonya, Sherry, and Frankie are out here, too._ "

Chuck nods her approval at Negan and he opens the door. The small group files into the room, all eyes on Chuck and baby Maddie.

"She's a ginger!" Tonya says with a laugh.

"How the fuck I got a red headed kid, I don't even know," Negan responds as he moves back into the room.

"She's just precious," Sherry coos as she lightly touches the baby's head. "She's sleeping good."

"Yeah. She's out for now." Chuck looks down at her daughter. "Give it an hour or so until she gets hungry."

"Shit. You're in full on mom mode, huh," Tonya jokes.

"I have to be." Chuck giggles. "If I don't feed her, my boobs hurt."

Frankie grimaces. "Really? That's how that all works?"

"Yup," Chuck answers simply.

"How are you feeling?" Sherry asks Chuck.

"Okay," she answers. "A little tired. Kinda sore."

Simon comes forward and crouches down to see the baby better. "She looks like you," he says to Chuck with a big smile on his face.

"Poor girl," Chuck jokes.

"Stop." Negan bends down to kiss his daughter's head. "She shares the title of most beautiful girl in the fuckin' world with her mama."

Sherry looks at Negan. "I never thought I'd see you with a baby and a ring on your finger."

"You and me both," Negan replies then looks down at Chuck. "But I wouldn't have it any other fuckin' way."

Tonya groans dramatically. "You guys are so domestic it's disgusting."

Everyone laughs at Tonya's joke. After a few more minutes of visiting, Negan and Arat get Chuck and Maddie out of the infirmary on their way upstairs. As Arat pushes Chuck's wheelchair with Negan walking beside them, they pass several residents in the hallway. Everyone kneels in respect for Negan, but it feels a little different to Chuck for some reason. She looks up at Negan beside her with a questioning look on her face. He says nothing, but smiles down at her warmly.

When they all get in the elevator and close the doors, Negan bends down to whisper in Chuck's ear. "They were kneeling for you."

Chuck looks over to Negan as he stands straight. "Why?"

Negan doesn't answer, but leans down to kiss Chuck's head as he places his hand on Maddie gently. Even though her question isn't addressed, she realizes on her own why the residents are showing her respect, too. She's Negan's family, so the respect he's garnered has passed on to her. It makes Chuck feel like she doesn't really deserve it, since all she did was have a baby. Because of that, she promises herself that she will do more to earn the respect the residents have given her.

When they get upstairs, Chuck and Negan put the still sleeping baby in the crib. Negan reaches over to turn on a baby monitor sitting on an end table beside the crib.

"You got a baby monitor for us?" Chuck asks.

Negan puts his arm around her as they stand in front of the crib. "Laura did. She said we'd probably fuckin' need it."

"That was thoughtful of her."

"I'll take care of her while you take a shower," Negan suddenly says.

Chuck laughs. "You telling me I stink?"

Negan chuckles. "I would never," he jokes.

"I _do_ need one," Chuck admits, considering her hair is still matted together with dirt and sweat. She lets out a heavy breath as she looks at her daughter. She has spent almost every minute with the girl since she was born, so leaving her even for the short time to take a much needed shower is a little hard.

Negan leans down to kiss Chuck sweetly. "We'll be fine," he whispers, apparently reading Chuck's mind. "I got some paperwork to look over. I'll just be in the fuckin' bedroom with the baby monitor so I can hear if she needs me."

Chuck giggles at Negan's continued bad language. "Maddie's first word is gonna be 'fuck' if you keep swearing around her."

Negan laughs. "Probably."

Chuck begrudgingly leaves her new family in the nursery and heads out to the bedroom to gather some clean clothes for after her shower. Her belly still has a bump, so she's not going to get into her old jean any time soon. Gathering up a pair of comfy sweatpants and a T-shirt that will fit, as well as some not exactly fashionable maternity underwear and a nursing bra, she goes into the bathroom to wash up.

She's still sore from the birth, so she washes herself carefully and slowly. But it does the trick in making her feel at least a little bit like she's getting back to normal. When she's clean from head to toe, she dries herself and gets out of the shower to dress. As soon as she leaves the bathroom, she notices that Negan isn't in the room.

"Negan?" she calls out, but hears nothing in response.

She turns into the doorway in the room to head to the nursery. She finds Negan standing in front of the crib looking at the newborn. Right where she left him.

"Get your work done?" Chuck asks as she strides up beside him.

"I didn't even leave this spot," he answers. "I couldn't stop watching her."

Chuck looks down at her daughter, who is no longer asleep, but looking up at her father with wide eyes. "She probably needs fed."

Negan bends down to pick Maddie up and pulls her to his chest. "You hungry, princess?" He bobs the girl up and down as Chuck takes her shirt off and situates herself on the rocking chair. After she pulls the cup off of her nursing bra, Negan sets the baby in Chuck's arms.

As the baby feeds, Negan watches over them with a look of awe on his face.

Chuck giggles at him. "What?"

"You're just fuckin' amazing. You made a baby for me and you're keeping her fed just with your body. All without acting like it's no big fuckin' deal."

"I'm glad you are so amazed by motherhood," she responds with a smile. "It shows that you don't take women for granted in society, which happens too often.

"I have no fuckin' idea how anyone could see a woman give birth and care for a goddamn baby and not think it's fuckin' awesome. We men think we're hot shit, but none of us can do anything as amazing as that."

Chuck giggles. "Well, thank you. I never really thought about everything that goes into being pregnant and feeding a baby. It _is_ kind of amazing." She laughs again.

"It really fuckin' is. All I did was jizz someplace wet and warm and you took that and made a fuckin' human being."

"Such a romantic," Chuck jokes and switches the baby to the other side.

He chuckles. "You're welcome."

She clears her throat a little, wanting to get more serious. "I guess I've never really told you how much I appreciate this society you've created for us. Women can do anything here. Not just cook and clean. You have women as your soldiers. One of your lieutenants is a woman. And you don't talk down to us. If we earn our keep, we get your respect and the respect of everyone else. We've seen how dangerous this world can be for women now. But not here." She looks up to Negan with a smile.

"You're damn right you're safe here." He gently caresses Maddie's head as she continues to feed.

"I hate that Maddie isn't going to know the way the world was before, but I'm so glad she's going to grow up _here_ , under your rules. She'll be safe and healthy here. We can't say the same for any other place, really."

"I'm gonna fuckin' try to make sure other places are as good to their people as we are here. If some group mistreats their citizens, especially women, they'll be paid a visit by Lucille."

Chuck giggles. "Hopefully that won't happen too often."

Negan keeps his eyes on his daughter as he speaks. "We actually got a pretty good corner of the fuckin' world right here. Rick's people are pretty good. And I think Ezekiel's are, too."

Maddie finally pushes away and Negan grabs a towel from the changing table. He flips it over his shoulder and comes back over to take Maddie from Chuck.

"You gonna burp for me?" he says as he holds the baby to his shoulder. Even though he's only had a couple days practice with a new baby, he seems like a pro.

As Negan walks around with Maddie, gently rubbing her back and bouncing slightly, Chuck can't help but think about how much she loves her husband. And how lucky she is to have him as the father of her baby.

Later on that day, Aaron and Eric make a visit. Negan had made sure to keep them informed through the radio about Chuck's pregnancy, so they knew she had the baby. And Negan told them when Chuck would have been well enough to get visitors.

When Negan walks in with Aaron and Eric behind him, Chuck gets up from the couch to greet them with a hug.

"She's over here," Chuck leads them to the other side of the bed where Maddie is laying in a bassinet.

Aaron leans over to see his newborn great niece. "She looks exactly like how you looked when you were born," he says to Chuck without looking up.

Chuck giggles. "I think I see a hint of some dimples there." She looks over to Negan who smiles back.

"Oh, so I _did_ get some genes in there," Negan teases as he walks closer to the bassinet.

Eric laughs. "Imagine what she would look like with those adorable dimples!" he exclaims.

"You calling my dimples adorable, Eric? You know I'm a married man, right?" Negan jokes.

Eric looks from Aaron to Chuck. "That's not- I just-" He laughs nervously. "I mean-"

Negan claps him on the back. "I'm just fucking with you."

Chuck and Aaron both shake their heads as Eric continues to nervously giggle.

"I've already had to fuckin' brush off your husband's advances, so it's no big deal. I'm fuckin' used to it," Negan says to Eric, still joking.

Eric whips his head to Aaron. "What?"

"Stop teasing," Chuck chides Negan, who is now laughing outright.

"He's just being a jerk," Aaron says to Eric as he lifts the baby from her bassinet to hold her.

Negan puts his hand on his chest to feign offense at the jibe.

Aaron starts to walk around the room with his great niece in his arms. "It's just like the first time I held you," he comments to Chuck.

She follows after her uncle. "Really?"

"Yeah," Aaron answers softly. "I was waiting in the hospital when you were being born." He laughs a little. "I was just eighteen. Never held a baby before and when I got into your mom's room, she just shoved you into my arms. You were so small, but you were looking around so alert." He stares down at Maddie with a loving expression on his face. "We were all a mess. Me, your dad, your grandparents... all of us crying. But not your mom. She had a huge smile on her face, ordering all the nurses around like it was her job." He chuckles.

"Negan cried," Chuck throws out casually.

"Jesus Christ, Chuck," Negan mutters. "Don't tell them that shit."

She giggles then shrugs. "Sorry."

Aaron looks over to Negan. "I know these girls have you wrapped around their fingers. It's not news."

Negan walks over to Aaron, still holding Maddie, and bends down to kiss her on the head. "Yeah, yeah. Don't go spearing that shit around."

Chuck comes over to stand next to Negan. As she looks at her daughter being held by her uncle, a sudden sadness hits her. "I wish Mom was here," she whispers. "And Dad, too."

Negan lifts his hand to place it on Chuck's back in reassurance. "I know, baby girl."

Aaron clears his throat, apparently feeling the emotion, too. "They would've been so proud of you, Chucky," he chokes out. "And they would've loved this girl so much."

Chuck nods then moves to run her hand over her daughter's head. "I wish she could've met them." A tear falls from her eye and flows down her cheek.

Negan pulls Chuck into his side and she wraps her arms around him. "I know, sweetheart."

Eric comes up behind Aaron to put his arm around his shoulder. "They can see her," he says to Chuck. "And she'll know them through you."

"Do I look okay?" Chuck holds her hands out as she models the flowy floral dress she had put on the next day.

Negan walks over to kiss her. "You look fuckin' beautiful."

"I just want to make a good impression on everyone. Especially since some of them saw me looking haggard as I left the infirmary yesterday."

Today is the day that the whole Sanctuary will see Maddie for the first time. In just an hour's time, the residents will be waiting on the factory floor to be addressed by Negan and his newly expanded family. Chuck thinks it's kind of silly. It's almost like when the royal babies were born, which means Chuck is like the queen. And that's a little hard to swallow for her. Of course there's that little part of her left over from her girlhood that's squealing in delight about being a princess, but she's honestly never really felt very "royal". Especially "waving at the masses" royal.

"They're gonna flip their shit when they see you, baby girl. Don't fuckin' worry."

She lets out a sigh, hoping that Negan is right. "Okay."

They get Maddie all bundled up and start their trek down to the furnace room. As soon as everyone gets a glimpse of Negan on the catwalk above them, they get down on one knee.

Negan leans down to whisper in Chuck's ear. "You ready, baby girl?"

She nods as she holds her daughter in her arms. "We're ready."

The small family walks up to the railing as the crowd below them remains on their knees. Negan gestures for everyone to stand and they all obey the order.

"I want to apologize for not appearing at my own goddamn birthday party the other day. I hear it was a fuckin' good ass time. But I was busy introducing my beautiful little girl to the world!" He puts his arm around Chuck and pushes her a little closer to the railing so everyone can see the baby in her arms. "My Madeline Rose!" he calls out and everyone cheers.

Chuck can't help but giggle at the warm reception. Even though most of these people are technically strangers to her, she almost feels like they're her extended family. That everyone here is like a family.

Negan continues. "I'm sure you guys are sick of seeing Simon's ugly ass mug around this place filling in for me, but I'm still gonna be needed upstairs to take care of my two girls for a little bit." He looks over to Chuck with a grin on his face. "But I don't want you guys to think I'm not fuckin' working! From now on, I will be conducting business from my office. If you guys have any concerns, my office will be open to fuckin' hear them."

Everyone applauds in understanding.

"But I just wanna make something clear," he calls out and everyone quiets. "I will have plenty of guards stationed upstairs to protect my family. Not that I think that any of you fine people would do anything, but if there's a bad apple that wants to start shit, he will be dealt with fuckin' swiftly! By 'dealt with' I mean 'taking Lucille to the fuckin' brain'!"

Everyone starts to murmur in response.

"No one's gonna hurt Chuck and Madeline!"

"We'll protect her!"

"We love you Madeline!"

The residents' overwhelming support has Chuck tearing up. She's still so used to nobody really caring about her, but that's just not the case anymore. Everyone has really opened up their hearts to her in a way she never would have expected.

She takes a deep breath to settle herself and looks up at Negan. "Can I say something?" she asks quietly.

Negan look over to her, surprised. "Sure, sweetheart." He holds his hand up to quiet everyone.

As Chuck looks over the large crowd, her nerves start to get the best of her. Public speaking has never been her strong suit, but she pushes through her nerves to address everyone.

"I-I..." she starts quietly. Clearing her throat, she steels her nerves and starts again in a stronger voice. "I wanted to say that your support means so much to me. I'm not used to this kind of attention, so, uh... I'm sorry if I'm not good at this, but I am going to try my best to be worthy of the support you're giving me and my baby. We are all a community here and I feel so much safer knowing that all of you are looking out for me. But I want you to know that I'm gonna look out for you guys, too. I will do whatever I can to make everyone feel as safe and loved as I do right now."

When everyone starts to cheer, Chuck can't hold back her tears any longer and starts to cry. Negan wraps his arm around her and pulls her into his side. He kisses Chuck's temple then turns back to the crowd.

"Alright, everyone! Get back to fuckin' work!" he calls out and everyone starts to disperse. Negan steps in front of Chuck and wipes her cheeks of tears. "You good?"

Chuck nods. "Yeah. I'm good."

— Negan's POV —

Durning the next week, I gotta get the fuck back to work. But instead of me walking my ass around The Sanctuary doing my shit, I got people coming to me, so I can stay close to my girls. I made "business hours" for myself, meaning that from 8 - 5, I'm on the fuckin' clock and anyone who needs me can find me in my office. Outside of that, I'm on call for emergencies only. Simon can handle anything else.

Since I got people constantly coming in and out, I put more guards on my floor, just in fuckin' case. I usually got Sam on my office door during the day, José at night. And Arat and Laura alternate being posted by the doorway to my living quarters, where Chuck and the baby are. I set a few other of my trusted Saviors in the hallway, too.

I'm not fuckin' around with the safety of my family. Eldritch had Chuck fuckin' kidnapped from our bedroom right under my goddamn nose not even six months ago. Shit like that will _not_ happen again. Fuckin' _ever_.

I get word that Rick is on his way here with Michonne and Daryl. They say they got something for me, so I wait in my office for them to get here. Chuck is sitting on the couch reading with Maddie in the little fuckin' bassinet beside her. Even though we got that baby monitor, we never fuckin' use it. We just move the bassinet to wherever we fuckin' are and set Maddie in it. Neither of us wants to be too far away from her for too long.

Simon radioes and says he's on his way up with Rick and his crew.

"I guess that's our cue, little one." Chuck stands and bends over the bassinet to pick Maddie up.

"You don't have to run away," I say to her and stand up myself. I walk over to her and take Maddie in my arms.

"I thought you didn't want me here for business," she states.

"I wouldn't say that exactly. It's just mostly boring shit you wouldn't want to be here for anyway." I look down at Maddie. "Huh, sweet pea."

"You want to show her off to Rick."

I raise my head to see a fuckin' smirk on Chuck's face. She knows she's fuckin' right.

"Shit yes, I wanna show her off," I admit. "I made her and she's amazing."

Chuck giggles. "I think I might've had a hand in making her, too."

"Then you should want to show her the fuck off as much as me."

Simon comes into the office with Rick, Michonne, and Daryl trailing behind him. Rick has what looks like a book in his hands.

"Well, hey there, Rick," I call out as I continue to bounce Maddie gently.

"Who's this?" Michonne asks in a baby voice as she walks to me with a smile on her face. It's a little fuckin' weird seeing her like this since she's usually in badass mode.

"This is Maddie," I answer.

"Hi, Maddie," Michonne says to my little girl. "Look at those beautiful eyes." She looks over to Chuck. "She looks like you."

Chuck laughs a little. "Everyone says that."

Rick comes over to me to look at Maddie, too. "She really does look like you, Chuck. Probably for the best," he jokes under his breath.

"Very fuckin' funny, Rick," I deadpan. His dumbass joke makes Chuck laugh, though, so I can't help but smile.

Maddie starts to cry in my arms, so I look over to Chuck.

"She needs fed," Chuck confirms and comes to me to take Maddie. "It was nice to see you guys," she says to everyone before she heads off into our bedroom.

"So, Rick." I go behind my desk and sit down. "You got something for me?"

"Yeah." He sets the book down on my desk and sits in one of the chairs in front of it. Michonne takes the other seat and Daryl lurks behind them.

I look at the book that Rick had just fuckin' set down. "The Key to the Future" is written on the front of it. I flip through the pages and see fuckin' diagrams and pictures of tools and buildings. Fuckin' aqueducts and windmills and shit. Real useful shit in this age, if I'm being fuckin' honest.

"Where the fuck did you get this?" I ask.

"A woman gave it to us," Rick answers without elaborating.

I just stare at him for a minute. "A woman? She just _gave_ this to you?"

"She wanted records," Daryl clarifies.

"She gave you this shit in exchange for fuckin' _records_?" That sounds fuckin' insane. The shit in this book is life saving and this woman practically gave it away.

Rick shrugs a little. "That's all she wanted. She said she knew our group was good, so she wanted us to have this." He points to the book. "She said she just wants people to thrive again."

"That's very fuckin' noble of her."

"Yeah." Rick nods. "This book is a game changer."

"And you're just giving it to _me_?" I ask.

Rick nods again. "We're allies. And we're only as strong as our weakest link. If we're all doing the best we can, it'll make us all stronger."

I nod once. He's not fuckin' wrong. "This is fuckin' great. I'm gonna get this shit copied and sent off to Hilltop, too."

"There is..." Rick slides the book over to him and opens a page and taps his finger on it. "This is how to make fuel. Ethanol."

I look it over. "From corn," I glean from the words on the page.

"Yeah," Michonne answers.

"Corn that _I_ fuckin' grow..." I put together.

"Yes," Rick competes the thought. "With Hilltop and your farming outpost, you grow more corn than anyone around. Including The Kingdom."

"Ah," I lean back in my chair. "So giving me this book wasn't out of the kindness of your fuckin' heart. You want me to make fuckin' fuel for you."

"No," Michonne quickly jumps in. "We want you to provide corn and _we_ will make the fuel and give it to you. Division of labor."

"We also have Eugene working on how to make cars run on it," Rick adds. "It's not as good as gasoline, but we can at least _make_ ethanol. Gas is getting harder and harder to find."

"I'm aware," I comment. We've already shrunk our fuckin' fleet of cars to ration the gas we have. And I've been talking with The Kingdom to eventually get some horses from them. We're gonna need _some_ form of transportation after cars become fuckin' useless, and horses were used for hundreds of fuckin' years. I got some plans in the mix when spring comes to make some goddamn stables nearby for when we get them.

Us and The Kingdom have been working together pretty fuckin' well since we met. While it was still cold out, we cleared a few roads and blocked them off on the sides so they remain clear from the fuckin' biters once they thaw the fuck out and get back on the move. Eventually, we'll expand that area to push the dead even further back. But this is a start. If we're gonna have to get on these roads with horses in the future, I don't want them to be taken down by the dead. I've seen those biters take down fuckin' deer and shit, so I know they'll go after fuckin' horses, too.

If the Alexandrians can work out how to get cars to run on that corn fuel, that'll be fuckin' great. Especially if we want to keep trading up between these fuckin' groups. Cars'll be the much safer option.

"I'm sure we can work out a deal," Michonne says in that calm voice of hers.

I nod. "Yeah. We can make a deal when it comes time to fuckin' harvest. We got a few months."

"Good." Michonne looks to Rick and her expression is fuckin' weird.

Then Rick looks at me and his expression is just as fuckin' weird. Like he doesn't want to tell me something.

"What?" I ask, already not fuckin' liking this.

"There's something..." Rick scratches at his beard.

"What?" I say more forcefully.

Rick clears his throat. "When we took you to The Kingdom... When you met your brother..."

Okay. I'm liking this a whole fuckin' lot less. I haven't talked to my fuckin' half brother since I met him. I _have_ talked to Chuck about it, though. About my fuckin' father. Even though I fuckin' hate taking about that shit, it's fuckin' helped me to talk to her about it. She's just so fuckin' understanding and sweet. And she makes me feel better.

Rick continues. "I never told you about how we really got here. We started in Georgia. We picked some people up." He looks away from me. "We found a prison. West Georgia Correctional Facility."

No. Not there.

"We stayed there. We cleared the dead ones. But some of the inmates were still alive."

No. No fuckin' way.

"You said your father's name was Nathan McRae. And that he was in prison. I- I think... we knew him. He was there."

I stand up from my chair so fast that Laura and Sam fuckin' stand at attention on opposite sides of the room. I start to pace, just tying to fuckin' keep calm. But it's no fuckin' use.

"Are you _fuckin'_ kidding me?!" I scream. I keep pacing until I hear Chuck's voice.

"What's going on?" she calls out from the doorway, Maddie in her arms.

Before I can even think, my mouth opens up. "These fuckers lived with my father!"

"What?!" Chuck passes Maddie to Laura and stomps into the room. "What do you mean they lived with your father?!"

The three Alexandrians are fuckin' looking around all guilty and shit.

"Rick said they lived in his fucking prison with him!" I answer.

Chuck looks around confused. "How did you know it was Negan's father?" she asks Rick.

"I heard Negan say his father's name at The Kingdom," Rick answers quietly. "And... Martin looks like him."

"And you waited _this long_ to tell Negan?!" Chuck shrieks. "You should've told him immediately!"

"Is he still alive?" I growl out.

"No," Daryl answers right away. "I watched 'im get shot by The Governor's snipers."

I pinch at the bridge of my fuckin' nose to try to calm the fuck down. "Tell me _everything_ ," I command more fuckin' calmly without looking up.

"We lived with him for a while," Rick starts. "He told us he was in prison for a bar fight that got out of hand. He was trying to defend his buddy."

I shoot my head up to Rick. "He fuckin' lied."

"We know that now," Michonne continues calmly. "He earned his keep with us, so we had no reason to think that he lied. Then a man called The Governor attacked the prison, our home. Nathan was killed along with others and we all scattered. That's what started us on our way to Alexandria."

I huff out breaths as I look over to Chuck. She looks calmer now. I'm a little shocked my sweet Chuck went off on Rick like that, but my mind is still fuckin' reeling too much to even think about it.

Chuck takes in a deep breath. "Why did you tell him _now_?"

Rick turns his head from me to look at her. "I didn't want this coming between us. Between our communities. I know I should've said something earlier, but... I didn't know how."

I shake my head. "So you're telling me that motherfucker was living life all hunky fuckin' dory, then he got a quick death?"

Rick looks down. "I guess."

I run my hand down my face as I push down the urge to grab Lucille from the side of my desk and pummel everything in my eyeline. "Maybe you guys should just get the fuck out," I growl out.

"Wait," Chuck cuts in before the Alexandrians do anything. "You guys should've let Negan know about his father as soon as you realized that you knew him," she says to them. Then she turns to me. "But they had no idea of who that man was to you. So this isn't on them. This whole situation is... not great, but we still need to work together for the sakes of everyone. So... no flying off the handle." She turns away from me and back to Rick. "And no keeping secrets. We're all in this together."

Rick nods. "You're right." He turns his head to me. "I'm sorry, Negan."

"Yeah. Okay," I say quietly. "It's shitty, but..." I shrug. "I guess it's the fuckin' past. We just gotta keep moving fuckin' forward. We just got outta winter, so we're all gonna be fuckin' busy with shit now."

"Especially with that book." Michonne points to the gift they gave me. "We're all doing pretty good right now, but the stuff in that book will make everything easier. We can build more. Expand more. Really build a future for all of us." Her gaze flicks over to Chuck and her fuckin' meaning doesn't escape me.

I scratch at my chin. "I can't argue with that. I guess."

Rick stands up and walks over to me with his hand outstretched. "This won't happen again, Negan."

I take his hand to shake it. "I know it won't."

After the Alexandrians leave, I turn to Sam at the door. "Office hours are fuckin' over for the day."

He nods then turns to leave. Laura hands Maddie back to Chuck and she leaves, too.

"You okay?" Chuck asks quietly when we're alone.

"Yeah." I take Maddie from her and smile at my little girl. "Daddy's fuckin' fine, sweet pea," I say to my daughter like she asked.

"I just don't want this to be a setback for you."

I turn to look at Chuck. "Setback?"

"You've been doing so good and I just don't want you to go to a dark place because of this."

I can see how fuckin' worried she is for me and it simultaneously breaks my heart and makes it fuckin' swell. It feels so goddamn good that she cares about me that fuckin' much, but I _never_ want to be the cause of pain for her.

I walk over to her and kiss her forehead. "I'm fine, baby girl," I whisper then pull back to look at her. "I am. It fuckin' sucks knowing that that motherfucker didn't starve slowly and fuckin' turn, but he's dead all the same, now."

She reaches up to run her hand over my cheek. "I'm so proud of you, Negan. But... you should talk to Martin at some point."

I turn my head to kiss Chuck's palm. "I will. Eventually. I just wanna be here with my girls right now."

She smiles up at me and I can't fuckin' resist bending down to kiss her. "Everything's just really good right now and I wanna keep things that way," she says as she looks up at me with those big green eyes I can never fuckin' resist.

"Don't worry, sweetheart." I kiss her again. "You got nothing to worry about, okay?"

She nods up at me, completely convinced. Shit, I'm convinced, too. Sure, learning about my father pissed me off, but really, it wasn't as much as I thought it would. I guess it's cuz I'm truly fuckin' happy, for once.

So, yeah. Everything's really good right now. Fuckin' perfect, even. And I'm not gonna let the specter of my fuckin' father, or anything else, ruin this shit. Not now. Not ever.


	2. Chapter 2

As time passes, Negan and Chuck settle into their lives as parents. The next two weeks are mostly uneventful; Maddie sleeps for most of the day. Even so, Chuck and Negan can't help but watch over her as she lays in her bassinet. Negan even becomes the official diaper changer. For some reason, Chuck's mommy ability to deal with gross things hasn't kicked in yet and she can barely get through a diaper change without retching. But Negan has no problem and does the task happily, just glad to have a moment with his daughter.

Harlan requests a check up at three weeks old, so the little family treks downstairs to the infirmary. Harlan measures and weighs the baby, determining that she's right on schedule. Every other exam is completely normal, too, so Maddie is perfectly healthy.

When Maddie gets a little more active and vocal, the new parents love to tickle the girl and coo at her in response. They even set her on her belly to give her a little exercise, which everyone enjoys. Then comes Maddie's first genuine smile.

"Look, Negan!" Chuck calls out excitedly as she excitedly rushes into Negan's office with Maddie in her arms.

Simon is seated at Negan's desk, going over something with him, but Chuck doesn't care that she's interrupting official business. Arat and José are in there, too, doing their job as guards, but they mainly stand back to watch over everyone.

"What is it?" Negan stands from his desk and walks out to meet Chuck.

"She's smiling!" Chuck explains.

"You sure she's not shitting herself?" Negan looks over his daughter as he stands next to Chuck.

Simon chuckles a little, then stands to look over the baby, too. "I typically smile when I shit myself, so..." he jokes."

Chuck laughs at Simon. "No, watch." She puts a huge smile on her face and looks down to Maddie. "Ah..." Chuck coos.

Maddie coos back then smiles her gummy little grin, her dimples on full display for everyone to see.

"Holy shit! That's a fuckin' smile!" Negan mimics Chuck and does the same thing, getting the same response from his daughter.

"And look. She _did_ get your dimples!" Chuck says with a giggle.

"That's probably the _only_ fuckin' thing I'd want her to get from me." Negan smiles at Maddie again and she reciprocates.

Simon chuckles and tugs his pants up. "Boy, does that little girl have you wrapped around her teeny tiny finger, brother." He leans in to smile a the girl, too.

Maddie looks a little confused at first, but smiles at the familiar man.

"You remember Uncle Simon, huh?" Chuck says to her daughter.

"She's laughing at his fuckin' weird ass face and that caterpillar looking pornstache," Negan jokes.

Simon just laughs it off. "Probably."

"No," Chuck disagrees. "She loves her Uncle Simon." She looks up to Simon as he bashfully looks away.

One night a couple of weeks later, Chuck sneaks out of bed to feed Maddie. Negan is still snoring softly on his side of the bed, so she tries not to wake him. She picks Maddie up out of the bassinet and carries her over to the couch.

"You hungry, Maddie?" Chuck whispers then brings the baby to her chest. As she feeds her, she starts to hum to her daughter softly. She isn't sure if it's true or not, but she has a feeling that Maddie likes to hear her sing. She always seems so much more peaceful when she hears Chuck's voice.

Negan stirs and swings his legs off the bed to get up.

"I'm sorry," Chuck says quietly. "I didn't mean to wake you."

He sits down beside Chuck and touches Maddie's head. "It's okay. I like to be here when she eats, anyway."

"Is it just because I got my boobies out?" Chuck jokes.

He chuckles. "No. I just... I can't feed her so I want to be here when you do."

Chuck has always enjoyed her time feeding Maddie and bonding with her. And she hasn't had any trouble breastfeeding like Kayla warned her about. Maddie latches on fine and Chuck always produces enough milk, so she's eternally grateful. But now she realizes that Negan is missing out on that bonding, too, and it makes her feel a little selfish.

"Oh, I'm sorry, Negan. I didn't really think about that. I can pump some and you can feed her with the bottle in the morning."

"I don't want to take this shit from you, sweetheart. I was just saying..."

"No. I want you to be able to feed her, too."

"Really?"

"Yeah. Kayla showed me how to use the pump, so I think I can use it."

After Maddie is fed and put back into her bassinet, Chuck and Negan figure out how to use the hand pump and fill up a bottle to use the next day.

When Maddie's next feeding comes in the morning, Chuck and Negan get the bottle from the refrigerator and put it in a pot of water on the stove to warm up.

"You know," Chuck starts, "maybe I should be pumping extra milk and freezing it in one of the deep freezers downstairs. Kayla told me that sometimes mothers can't produce enough, so maybe my extra milk could help other babies here or in the other communities. Or what if we find a motherless baby? Formula is pretty much nonexistent now, so what would babies eat if they don't have mother's milk?"

"Isn't that fuckin' weird? Having a baby that's not yours drink your milk?"

"Wet nurses existed throughout history, so..." Chuck shrugs.

"It's _your_ milk, I guess. If you have the surplus, I guess we should save it. Just in case." Negan takes the bottle out of the water. "I still think it's kinda weird for someone that's not your fuckin' kid to drink your milk. But if there's no other choice for the baby..."

Chuck points to the bottle. "Is that hot enough?"

"I think so. How do you know if it's too hot? Put it on your wrist?"

"Yeah."

Negan squirts out some, but it's too much and goes all over his wrist. He instinctively licks the excess off then realizes what he did.

"Fuck." He scrunches up his face.

Chuck tries not to laugh, but fails. "You just drank my milk."

His face is still scrunched up. "Yeah. I have no fuckin' idea why I did that."

"Was it gross?" Chuck gets out through her giggles.

"No...?" he answers tentatively. "Not really. It was like sugary milk." His face still hasn't gone back to normal, though.

"Are you weirded out?"

"I am weirded out, yes," he says flatly.

Chuck laughs. "That's so funny! I didn't think there was anything that would get to you."

"I don't know. It's fuckin' weird to me! Your milk is for Maddie, not me. And..." He shakes his head. "I don't know. It's just weird!"

"It's still food, though." Chuck is still laughing at him. "It's not like you just drank something gross!"

"Whatever." He huffs. "Now we gotta warm it back up again cuz it got fuckin' cold." He puts the bottle back in the hot water.

"Your mouth has been in my lady bits before," Chuck points out, not dropping the subject.

He whips his head to her. "Well, your lady bits are mine."

She laughs at that. "What?! You're so weird!"

"Why the fuck is that weird?"

"Because I was under the impression that _my_ lady bits are _mine_."

"Well, _yeah_. But they're mine, too."

She giggles. "Should I expect you to be disgusted by my vagina from now on, too?"

"Of course not. Why would I?"

"Our daughter came out of it!" This whole conversation is funny to Chuck. "Wouldn't that make it _hers_ like my milk?"

"No. Your pussy is still mine," he answers incredulously. "It's different." He shakes his head. "What-the-fuck-ever. I don't have a problem with your pussy, okay? Can I please go feed our daughter now?"

Chuck giggles at his flustered state. "Go ahead."

After checking the milk again (this time using a cloth to wipe the milk from Negan's wrist), Negan sits on the couch with Maddie and brings the bottle up to her mouth.

Maddie follows Chuck with her eyes as she sits next to Negan.

Chuck notices. "She's like, 'What are you doing over there, Mommy? Bring them boobies over here! I'm hungry!'," she jokes.

"I know, princess," Negan tells Maddie as he pushes the bottle close to her mouth. "It's not as good as from the fuckin' tap, but this is how Daddy's gotta feed you."

Maddie looks confused for a moment, but takes the bottle just fine as she stares up at Negan with a little smile on her face.

"She loves her daddy," Chuck whispers to Negan.

"Now that Daddy's giving her fuckin' food."

"No. She loves you all the time." Chuck gently rubs her hand over her daughter's head.

Negan just stares back down at his little girl, looking completely content. After a moment, Negan speaks. "You guys have been fuckin' cooped up in here for a while, so why don't we take her out today. It's fuckin' nice out, we can walk the grounds and shit."

"That'll be nice. I think she'll like that. Her first trip outside."

A little while later, the family, complete with baby Maddie in a carrier strapped to Chuck's chest, walk through the factory building (guards in tow) and head outside into the mild late spring air. Everyone that they pass kneels in respect and Chuck greets them. Little coos and gasps leave the residents' lips as they get a good look at the first family's new addition. It makes Chuck smile wide that people seem to care about her and her child so much.

They make their way to Chuck's old picnic table, the umbrella Simon had put there still bathing the sitting area in shadow. As they both sit down on the same side, Negan sets Lucille on the table then runs his hand over the carved words just underneath the parasol.

He reads the writing. "Property of Simon? This doesn't exactly look like his fuckin' style."

Chuck giggles. "He did it for me so I could read out here without getting sunburned."

Negan looks confused. "When was this?"

"Months ago. Last summer."

"Was that when he was still trying to get in your pants?"

"Negan," she chides.

"What?" he replies like he's innocent.

Chuck slaps his chest playfully. "Stop. He's our friend. Don't talk about him like that. I think it was after we told him about the baby, anyway."

Negan shrugs then turns to look at Maddie still in her carrier. "You liking it out here, princess? Let's get you out so you can fuckin' look around." He pulls Maddie out and holds her in his arms.

As the baby looks around with wide eyes, Chuck takes the carrier off and sets it on the table.

"It's a little different from our room, huh?" she says as the smooths out Maddie's strawberry blonde hair.

"We're gonna have to get her a little fuckin' hat for the summer. So she doesn't get sunburned."

"Yeah. But at least she got a little bit of your tone so she has _some_ protection from the sun. Unlike her mommy."

"She's still fair as shit. And I don't want her to ever be in fuckin' pain. Not even once."

Chuck giggles at him. "You know there's gonna be scraped knees and bumped elbows when she gets older."

"Nope. I'm gonna shut that shit down."

Chuck laughs. "Are you now?"

"Yup."

Someone calls out, "Oooh! Can we see the baby?"

Chuck looks up to see that Patty and the other gardeners are standing not too far away. They must've been headed to the gardens.

"Get over here," Negan answers with a wave of his free arm.

The four women coo at Maddie, who seems to be loving the attention.

"Oh my god, she's so cute!" Irene calls out. When her long black hair falls close to Maddie, she grabs it in her little hand. But Irene doesn't care.

Patty looks up from the baby to Negan. "She looks like you."

Negan shakes his head a little in shock. "Are you fuckin' kidding me? She's the spitting image of Chuck."

"I can see you in there, too," Patty comments.

Natalie leans in. "Are you getting much sleep in the night?" she asks Chuck.

"It's not too bad, actually," Chuck answers. "I get up to feed her and Negan does the diapers."

"You make _the leader_ change the diapers?!" Irene calls out in a joking way.

"I do that shit myself. Doesn't matter if I'm the leader of all this shit," Negan looks down at Maddie in his arms, "I'm still her daddy."

"That's adorable!" Patty calls out.

"I don't think it's fuckin' _adorable_. It's just my job as a parent."

Chuck looks over to her husband and can't help but smile. She feels so lucky to have such an amazing man in her life that has given her her perfect family.

A few days later while Negan is downstairs, Chuck decides to officially introduce Maddie to world of music. She sets her up in her bassinet beside the piano in the former wives' lounge and sits down on the bench.

"I didn't have a piano this nice when I was little," she tells Maddie, "but we did have an old upright piano in the living room. And your grandma and grandpa would play songs for me all the time." Chuck noodles around on the piano, not playing anything specific, just seeing how Maddie reacts to the new noises.

Maddie's expression changes. Her eyebrows scrunch up and her lips sneer like she's very confused, but that melts away in a moment and she smiles wide at the new sounds.

"You like that, huh?" Chuck giggles then starts to play Isn't She Lovely by Stevie Wonder. "My mom told me this was the first song my dad played to me when I was a baby. I think he might've played it to me on my birthdays." She shakes her head, a little sad that she doesn't remember exactly.

As she sings the words to her daughter, Maddie just stares up at her with a huge smile on her face, swinging her hands around happily at the music. Chuck can't help but smile as she thinks that her daughter loves the same music she did as a child.

After the last notes are sung, applause rings out from the door. Chuck turns around to see Negan approaching.

"That was beautiful," he comments then leans over to look at Maddie. "Your mama's fuckin' talented."

"She likes music, I think."

Negan kisses Chuck on the head then picks Maddie up to hold her. "Of course she does. She's gonna be a virtuoso just like you."

"I don't think I'm a _virtuoso_." Chuck laughs. "But maybe she got my love of music."

Negan sits down beside Chuck with Maddie in his arms. "Play another."

"Sing with me."

"You know I'm not fuckin' good at that."

"I like your voice. You just gotta be more confident in it."

He laughs. "It's fuckin' funny _you'd_ say that to _me_."

Chuck nods. "Music is literally the only thing I'm confident about. And apparently it's the only thing you _aren't_ confident about." She giggles. "But I can teach you. If you want. I always loved it when my parents would sing together. Their voices fit so perfectly." She looks to the ceiling as she thinks back on it. "But my mom was an alto and my dad was a tenor. So the harmonies were really tight."

"I don't know what that shit means."

Chuck giggles. "My mom's voice was lower than mine and my dad's was higher than yours. If me and you sing, you'll have to be an octave or two below me." She lowers her voice almost comically. "Because your voice is so low."

Negan laughs. "I believe you meant to say, 'My voice is so _manly_.'"

"Yes, yes." She giggles. "Very manly. And I love it."

"Goddamn right you do."

Chuck starts to play a song she'll think Negan can sing. "Wise men say..." she sings to him.

Negan chuckles and continues. "...only fools rush in," he continues in his best Elvis voice.

It makes Chuck laugh.

"But I can't help falling in love with you," they sing together. "Shall I stay? Would it be a sin if I can't help falling in love with you." They look at each other with big smiles in their faces.

As Negan sings the chorus in his own voice, Chuck looks over to Maddie, who is staring intently at her father with a smile on her face. Chuck jumps in a few times to sing harmonies, but mostly she lets Negan sing to his daughter alone.

As he finishes the song, Maddie starts to fuss a little. "Is it dinner time, sweet pea?" He asks to the little girl as he bounces her slightly.

"She probably is hungry." Chuck stands from the bench and picks up the bassinet to follow Negan from the room and back to their apartment.

Chuck feeds Maddie as Negan makes dinner for them. With everyone fed, Chuck and Negan sit on their couch to watch a movie as Maddie lays in her bassinet.

After a little bit, Negan leans over to look at Maddie. "Did you set her on her stomach?"

"No," she answers as she turns to Negan. "Is she on her stomach?"

"Yeah."

Chuck gets up to stand over Maddie. "Did you roll over all by yourself?" she asks her daughter.

Maddie pushes herself up a little to try to see Chuck.

"Look at my little princess!" Negan calls out as he sets Maddie back on her back. "Roll over again for Mommy and Daddy."

The parents stand there for several minutes just waiting for Maddie to turn again. She finally does and they clap and cheer. After that, they sit back on the couch to cuddle up together.

"Did you ever think you'd be so happy to see someone roll over that you'd cheer?" Chuck asks with a giggle.

"Nope. Did you?"

"No. I never understood when moms got all excited about every little thing their kids do. But I get it now."

He squeezes her a little and kissed her head. "Me, too."

Chuck has been waiting all day for Negan to say something about the date and what it means to her, but he hasn't, apparently oblivious to the special anniversary that it is. She tilts her head up to him. "Do you know what today is?"

He thinks a second. "May 26?"

She giggles a his technically correct answer. "Yes..." she replies, wanting more.

He shrugs. "I don't know, sweetheart."

"It's the one year anniversary of when you brought me here."

"Shit. Really?"

"Yeah."

"Guess I moved pretty fast on you, huh?" he jokes. "One year in and we got a fuckin' baby."

"Speaking of..." Chuck moves to straddle Negan's lap. "You know what else today is?"

"Mmm." He runs his hands down her waist and to her hips. "What's that?"

"It's been over six weeks since Maddie's birth." She leans forward to kiss Negan passionately, hoping that he'll understand what she wants.

He must've, because he says, "Fuck, baby. You sure about this?"

She nods. "I don't wanna make you wait any longer." She pushes forward to kiss him again, but he places his hand on her shoulder to stop her. It causes her to pull back in confusion. "You don't want to?"

"Oh, _yes_ , I fuckin' want to. But I don't want you to think about _me_ , baby girl. I only want you if you're fuckin' ready. On your _own_ terms."

"I'm ready, Negan. I want you." She runs her fingers down his cheek gently.

"You sure?"

She stands up and takes his hand, leading him to the bed. "I've missed you," she almost whispers.

"Fuck." He slides his hands up from Chuck's hips to her waist, dragging her shirt with it. "I've fuckin' missed you, too." He continues to pull the garment up and over Chuck's head.

"I look different, don't I?" Chuck says quietly as she runs her hands over her stomach, almost to hide it. Her self consciousness with her body rears its ugly head as she stands before her husband.

He pulls her hands away from herself. "You look fuckin' beautiful." He steps in close to her to kiss her neck, eliciting a giggle from her.

She pulls back as she pushes her hands under Negan's white T-shirt to run her fingers over his stomach. "We have to be safe, though. I don't wanna get pregnant again for a while."

"I didn't even think you fuckin' _could_ while you're breastfeeding."

"It's not _impossible_. So..."

"Do I gotta use a fuckin' condom?" he asks, sounding completely unenthusiastic about the prospect. "I think they're getting out of fuckin' date now, anyway."

"Well, then we're not going to rely on them if they're expired. So..." Chuck pulls Negan's shirt off then pats his chest. "Pull out in time."

He chuckles. "Okay." He moves his hand behind Chuck's back to unlatch her bra, but she stops him.

"I want to keep my bra on."

"Really?"

She shrugs a shoulder. "I might leak."

"Alright, sweetheart. You can do whatever you want. This is your show," he says genuinely.

She giggles and goes for his belt. "You're so good to me." She undoes his pants and pushes them down along with his boxers.

"Is it weird that Maddie's right over there?" He gestures over to the bassinet by the couch.

"She's not going to remember. Right?" Chuck looks over to where her daughter is, too.

"Nah. We'll be fine." He sounds like he's trying to convince himself as well as Chuck.

Negan turns to pull the bedding down as Chuck rids herself of her bottoms, leaving her only in her nursing bar. Negan climbs onto the bed and pats the space beside him as he sits up with his legs outstretched, his rapidly hardening cock on display. Chuck crawls over him to straddle his thighs.

"Fuck, I'm excited," Negan rasps as he runs his hands over Chuck's body.

She explores his body with her hands, too. It's been a long time since they were this intimate with each other, so it feels nice.

"Thank you for being so patient with me. I know you're not used to going so long without sex..." She thinks about the man Negan used to be and that he would have just sought out other women to fulfill his needs. But he hasn't done that. He's waited for her and that means a lot to her. "I just love you so much for being so good to me."

He pushes some of her hair off of her shoulder and cradles her neck with the same hand. "It's my fuckin' job to take care of you. And I don't want anyone else but you." Negan chuckles. "But I'm not gonna lie. I may have clogged up the fuckin' shower drain from jerking off so goddamn much in there."

Chuck laughs at the thought. "Is that why the water's so slow to go down now?" she jokes.

"Probably." Negan flips them both around so he's on top of Chuck.

She giggles as she wraps her arms around his shoulders. "You could've asked me to lend a hand," she jokes as she wiggles her eyebrows cartoonishly.

Negan laughs. "Fuck. Are you getting me to blow my load early?"

She laughs, too. "Are you out of practice, old man?"

"Oh fuck, you're being naughty." He kisses her lips. "I love it." He kisses her neck, drawing a moan from Chuck's lips. He pulls away slightly to look at her. "You'll tell me if you want me to fuckin' stop, right?"

"Yeah. But I want this, Negan." She leans up to kiss Negan fervently.

Negan reciprocates enthusiastically and runs his hand over her body to her mound. He delicately parts her lips and explores for a moment before stopping.

He pulls his face back from hers to ask, "Are you okay?"

"Yeah."

"You're not wet at all."

"Oh." Chuck knows that while she's breastfeeding, vaginal dryness might be an issue. But she was hoping it wouldn't be.

"I think I'm gonna have to fuckin' warm you up a little." He shimmies himself down her body so his head is above her core.

Chuck is a little self conscious about Negan seeing her again. She's not sure if she looks the same or completely different after giving birth. Despite this, she still spreads her legs allowing him the room lay between them.

"Do I look okay?" she asks quietly.

Negan smiles up at her. "You look good enough to fuckin' eat."

Chuck giggles at his dumb joke, but her laughs turn to moans as he swipes his flattened tongue all over her sex.

He works her up slowly, making sure not to go too fast for her. When he starts to open her up with his fingers tentatively, Chuck scrunches up her face in discomfort. But he makes sure to flick his tongue over her clit to take her mind off the pain. It's taking a little bit longer for her to reach her climax, but she pushes down her frustration and tries to live in the moment instead of overthinking it.

Once Chuck feels her impending orgasm, she snakes her fingers through Negan's hair to grasp his head. "Oh, Negan," she moans. I'm gonna-" She breathes heavily as she starts to feel her orgasm begin.

Negan works her through it until she's writhing away from him as her oversensitivity becomes to much for her.

He moves up closer to her face. "You good, baby girl? Cuz you're nice and wet now."

"Mmhmm," she answers as she runs her hand down his face.

"Are you ready?"

She nods with a bite of her lip.

Negan climbs on top of her and lines himself up. "I'm gonna go fuckin' slow, but you gotta tell me if it fuckin' hurts and I'll stop."

"Okay."

Negan starts to push into her and it does hurt a little, but she tries to soldier through it, knowing that the pain will eventually go away. She had read some books about what to expect postpartum, so she knew that some women were put off sex for a long while after giving birth. But she didn't want that. Chuck always loved the way sleeping with Negan made her feel, so she wanted to get back to it as soon as she could.

"You good?" he checks.

Chuck nods her head as she bites on her lips in discomfort.

"You want me to stop?"

She shakes her head. "Keep going."

He pushes in more which causes Chuck to grunt in pain.

"Alright. I'm stopping."

"No wait!" she cries out. "I'm okay. I want you to keep going."

"I don't want to hurt you, Chuck."

"The first time's gonna hurt no matter what. I want to get it out of the way. Please, Negan. Just go a little slower."

He lets out a little growl, but proceeds slowly. It takes several minutes, but when he's fully inside her, they both let out a sigh of relief.

"Do I feel different to you?" she asks.

"Not really. Do I?"

"Yeah. A little."

"Bad?"

"It's kind of uncomfortable."

"Shit, baby girl," he mutters. "We should've waited."

"It's okay. I promise." She leans up to kiss him sweetly. "I love you."

"I love you, too."

It's slow going, but once Negan gets onto a rhythm, both of their pleasures build. Chuck wraps both of her arms around Negan's shoulders to hold him close as he continues to push into her.

"Fuck," Negan grunts. "You feel so fuckin' good, baby. You close?"

"Yes," Chuck responds breathlessly as she wraps her legs around him.

He moves his hand down to swirl his fingers over her clit, bringing her to her climax in just a few moments. Once her orgasm fades, he pulls out and jerks himself off onto her stomach with a few choice curses. Collapsing onto the bed beside her, he runs his hand over her cheek to push her face toward his.

"You okay?" he whispers through his heavy breaths.

Chuck nods, a lazy smile spreading across her face. "I'm good." She leans toward him to place a sweet kiss on his lips. "You okay?"

He chuckles. "Fuck, baby. I'm perfect."

Before they can cuddle too much, Maddie starts to cry in her bassinet across the room.

"Shit." Negan gets out of the bed then finds his previously discarded underwear. "I'll get her while you clean up," he throws over his shoulder as he pulls his boxers up his legs.

Chuck steps out of the bed and makes her way to the bathroom. "At least she waited until we were done," Chuck says with a giggle.

— Negan's POV —

Fuck, I'm in a good ass mood today. Not only is it fuckin' gorgeous outside, but I actually got some last night. Yeah, I was a little worried about hurting Chuck, so my mind was kinda elsewhere. But it was still fuckin' amazing to fuck my wife again.

Just as Chuck leaves my office with Maddie to go feed her, Simon walks in.

"Rick called on the radio. He says you gotta see something out near Annandale."

"He say what it is?"

"Nope. Just that you gotta see it. And he'd meet you there."

I really don't wanna head up that way. Annandale's like ten miles west of Alexandria, so depending on what the fuck is out there, I'm gonna be gone for at least a few hours. Which sucks. I haven't been outside the gates since Maddie was born and I hadn't fuckin' planned on it, either.

But if Rick says I need to see something, then I probably need to see it.

"Fine." I stand up from my desk. "Tell him I'll leave in a couple of minutes."

"Sure thing, boss." Simon turns around to leave my office.

I go over to Laura, who is sitting by the doorway to my kitchen. "I'm gonna be gone for a while. So watch over my girls like you're on high fuckin' alert."

"Yes, sir. I always do."

I go into my room and walk over to Chuck, still feeding Maddie on the couch. I let out a sigh as I sit down beside her.

"What is it?" she asks.

"I gotta go outside for a bit."

"Why?"

"Rick called. He found something I gotta fuckin' see. Apparently."

"Where?"

She's pissed. I can tell by the fuckin' short ass questions. I know she doesn't want me to leave The Sanctuary anymore. Even if we've made a lot of the area pretty fuckin' safe, shit can still happen. And she worries about me getting hurt.

"Up north. Near Alexandria."

"When are you leaving?"

"Now. Rick's gonna meet me up there."

She lets out a soft huff and looks up at me with those big eyes of hers. "Negan..."

"I know, baby girl. But you know Rick wouldn't ask for me if it's not fuckin' important."

"Fine. But get back here quick."

I stand up and kiss my girl on the head. "I wouldn't fuckin' _dream_ of staying away from my babies too long." I lean down to kiss Maddie's head, too. "Daddy will be back later," I say to my princess. "Love you, baby." I give Chuck a kiss.

"I love you, too."

I get downstairs and request Dwight ride with me. And we're gonna take the fuckin' horses to save on gas. We got the stables done and are the proud owners of a small fleet of fuckin' horses, courtesy of The Kingdom. And that includes my own personal horse which is a fuckin' beauty. I've been working with her a lot to get acquainted with her and I must say, I fuckin' love her already. She's all black and fuckin' bad ass. We mount up and get on the road.

The roads are clear and safe, so it's an easy fuckin' trip. Not to mention that we got our own goddamn road signs directing us to the various routes we'd use to get around, so we don't have to think much about where we're going.

"I hear you and Sherry moved into a bigger room," I mention to him just to break the fuckin' monotony.

Dwight looks over to me. "Yeah. One got available. My old single room wasn't big enough for us."

"Well, good for you guys."

"Thanks," he says a little uncomfortably. "We're doing pretty good."

"That's what I like to hear. That my people are fan-fuckin'-tastic."

He nods a little like he doesn't know what to say. I get why shit is awkward between us. I mean, his girlfriend left him to marry my ass. Then I burned half his face off when she fucked around on me with him. But he knew he broke the rules. And he knew why those rules were in place.

He's always followed my orders to the fuckin' t. Raised up in the ranks to become one of my top saviors. And I like the fucker, for some reason. He knows his place and does his fuckin' job. If he treats Sherry right, then I'll like him all the more. Because Sherry's a good woman. She put her own happiness on hold to save her fuckin' sister. Even though poor Tina didn't make it, Sherry stayed on as a wife to help Kayla, then the others when they came. So I wish her nothing but the best with Dwight. I really do.

We get to where Rick is waiting for us and tie our horses to a tree so they don't fuckin' wander off.

"So what is it, Rick?" I call out as me and Dwight approach Rick, Daryl, Abraham, and Michonne.

"This way," Rick says then they lead us to a little clearing by the road.

I can see that there's about fifteen dead fuckers laying on the ground, apparently dispatched by Rick and company. I gesture to the re-dead fucks with Lucille. "This it?" I'm kinda pissed Rick had me drag my ass all the way out here just for _this_. "So there's a hole in one of the barricades. Or one of the trenches got fuckin' filled up and the dead crossed it. Fuckin' deal with that shit yourself, Rick. Do you need me to hold your dick while you take a piss, too?"

"Negan. _Look_ at them." He swings his arm out to gesture to the biters.

I huff and look at them. They look like normal, grungy as fuck dead ones. Except... they all have clean shirts on. No. Not shirts, but jackets. _Black_ ones. Some of them are leather. And every single one of those dead fucks has a red scarf around their necks.

"What the fuck is this?" I growl out.

"That's why I called you out here," Rick responds.

"They're fuckin' dressed like me!" I look from them back up to Rick. "What the fuck!"

Alright. This is fuckin' weird as shit to look at. Over a dozen dead fucks all dressed like me? That's a fuckin' message addressed directly to me. I start to look them all over, going through their pockets like a fuckin' mad man. Because I know there's more to this message if it really is what I think it is.

The seventh dead fucker I check has a piece of paper all folded up in the inside pocket of it's fuckin' leather jacket that looks exactly like mine. I unfold it and read the fuckin' words in that familiar goddamn handwriting that a really wish I never had to fuckin' read again.

" _You didn't think it would be that easy to get rid of me, did you, Negan?_ "

I read it again. And again. And again until my fuckin' hand clenches uncontrollably and the paper crinkles into my fist. A growl leaves my throat before it turns into a fuckin' scream all on its own. Then I bring Lucille down on the biter at my feet over and over again until nothing is fuckin' left of it, screaming the whole time.

"Fuck!" I scream out to the fuckin' sky. I'm fuckin' completely out of breath and out of energy, but I move to destroy the next closest dead fuck, anyway. That is, until Rick comes up to me and grabs Lucille out of my hands.

"Stop!" he yells.

"Don't you fuckin' touch her!" I rasp, since my throat's fuckin' raw now. "Give her back!"

"You're gonna hurt yourself! Calm down!"

I stare at Rick, breathing fuckin' heavily. After a moment, I hold my hand out and Negan gives me back Lucille.

"We can figure this out," Rick says flatly. "What was in the note?"

I continue to huff for a minute, really not wanting to say what I have to say. "It's fuckin' Eldritch," I finally answer. "He's fuckin' back."


	3. Chapter 3

— Negan's POV —

Rick stares at me as my words sink the fuck in. Eldritch isn't dead. He's not dead and he wants to make a fuckin' play.

"I gotta fuckin' get back home." I turn to go back to the horses without saying anything. All I can think about is how he took Chuck away from me when I wasn't looking. And now I'm out here away from her.

Rick calls out, "I'm coming with you. Daryl?"

"Yeah," the redneck replies and follows me, Dwight, and Rick back to our rides.

"We're going to see if we can't find where these walkers crossed into this clear zone," Michonne explains to our backs and the rest of them fuck off to go do that, I guess.

But I don't really care. I gotta get fuckin' home to my babies. Before I mount up, I try to flick off some of the fuckin' gross shit on Lucille before I put her in her custom made holster on my saddle.

We make it home pretty fuckin' quickly, actually. I'm not fuckin' around with this. When we get within radio range, Dwight calls in our fuckin' approach. After he does that, I turn to him.

"When we get back, I want you to take Rick and Daryl to the meeting room and wait for me. We're gonna have to fuckin' talk about all this shit."

Ne nods and a little while later, we pull up to the fuckin' stable to leave the horses there. When we get through the fence, Dwight leads Rick and Daryl away and Simon comes up to me.

"What's going on?" he asks. I know he can tell something's wrong from the look on my goddamn face. And since he doesn't look like he shit his pants, I'm gonna fuckin' assume nothing happened here.

I shake my head a little. "It was Eldritch."

"What?!" he yells before I can explain.

"He dressed up a bunch of biters like me and lead them into Rick's territory. He found them and put them fuckin' down." I let out a sigh. "There was a fuckin' note on one of them, but I fuckin' destroyed it. It said, 'You can't get rid of me that easily,' or some shit."

Simon pulls his hand down his face. "Holy fuck," he drags out.

"Get on the radio to Hilltop and the outposts and tell them to go on high alert. Explain to them that Eldritch might fuckin' attack. And talk to The Kingdom, too. Then go up to the meeting room and wait for me. I'm gonna tell Chuck all this shit before I gotta make a fuckin' plan with Rick."

He nods, then we both enter the building. I rush up to my floor and fling my office doors open.

— —

After Negan leaves, Chuck finishes feeding Maddie then lays her down in her bassinet. She tries to keep from worrying about Negan, but all she can think about is that he's out there unprotected.

She knows that's not really true. Negan can handle himself. And he's not alone. Not to mention that the saviors and the Alexandrians have kept the entire area around the settlements almost completely clear of the dead. Negan is safer out there now than he ever has been.

It's just that the stakes are so much higher now. If something happened to him, Maddie would never know her father. Chuck knows what it's like to grow up with just her mother. Not that her childhood was bad, or anything, but Chuck would have rather had both of her parents there. She's wondered more than once how she would have grown up differently if her father had still been alive. Maybe she would have been bubbly and popular. Had a high school sweetheart and gotten married right out of college. Been a mother long before now.

Those were things she used to fantasize about before the end of the world. When she knew all the other kids in her class were at some party. Or when her college roommate spent the night at her boyfriend's. Or even back at Rolling Acres after she was left to clean herself up when one of the guys finally left her room at night. She would always picture her life being much different.

But now she thinks that all of that lead her here. Even the truly horrible things lead her to this moment in her life. And she wouldn't trade all that for anything because she has true love with Negan. And he gave her a beautiful daughter.

She obsessively rubs her thumb over the locket around her neck that Negan had given her as she paces around the room. It's been a few hours, so she thinks he should be coming home soon. Or at least he'd send word if something came up. Just as a renewed wave of anxiety jolts through her, the radio goes off. She lets out a sigh of relief when she hears Dwight's voice saying that they're almost home. She sits down on the couch, finally able to relax, to wait for Negan to come in. Not too long after that, she hears the office doors open up, so she stands to greet Negan when he comes in.

The second she sees Negan's serious face when he enters the room, her own cheery expression falls. "What is it?"

"Sit down." He props Lucille up by the door then moves to Chuck.

As she lowers herself back onto the couch, she notices that Lucille isn't clean, which means at the very least, Negan encountered the dead. He sits down beside her and lets out a heavy breath.

"What is it?" she asks as her anxiety starts to rise.

"Eldritch is alive."

All the air leaves Chuck's lungs. "You _saw_ him?" she chokes out as her eyes well up with tears. She always knew it was a possibility that he survived the assault on his compound, but she had really hoped he hadn't. And with all the time that passed without hearing from him, she was beginning to really believe that he was gone.

He shakes his head. "Rick ran into a group of fuckin' biters all dressed like me. One of them had a note. I'll never forget what that fucker's handwriting looks like."

"Oh my god."

As Chuck starts to cry, Negan pulls her into his side. "You don't have to worry about anything, baby girl. I would lay down my fuckin' life for you and Maddie."

Chuck pulls away quickly to look at him. "I don't want you to lay your life down! Your life is with me!"

Negan pauses, seemingly shocked by Chuck's outburst. "You don't don't have to fuckin' worry, okay? I'm not going anywhere."

"You're not going to leave The Sanctuary again. I'm not gonna allow it."

"Baby-"

"Don't you 'baby girl' me! You're too important to risk your life now."

Negan shakes his head. "I'm not risking my life. I'm gonna protect this place. And myself. And you and Maddie most of all. Rick's downstairs and we're gonna come up with a fuckin' plan. No one is gonna be able to come at us and not fuckin' lose, I promise you. Not with the numbers we got." He cradles her face and brings her in for a kiss. "So _please_ don't fuckin' worry. I hate when you're upset."

"Eldritch is smart," she mentions quietly.

"I'm smarter. You know I've changed shit since I dealt with him. Lookouts are never alone so they can't get picked off. We got regular patrols that keep the area clear and they'd see if Eldritch tries to lead a herd anywhere near us." He kisses her again. "The Hillfolk have been trained to fight. And with Alexandria... we're fuckin' unstoppable. I'm pretty sure I can get the tiger fucker to fight with us, too."

Chuck can't help but giggle at Negan's nickname for Ezekiel. "Don't make me laugh. This is serious."

"Don't fuckin' worry. I'm gonna find Eldritch and when I do, I'm gonna personally kill him."

— Negan's POV —

I leave Chuck and head back down to the second floor to talk to Rick. When I get to the room, Simon and Dwight are seated to the right of my seat with Rick and Daryl to the left.

Simon clears his throat as I take my seat at the head of the table."How'd she take it?"

I shake my head. "She's fuckin' scared." I set Lucille in front of me on the table. "What'd everyone say on the radio?"

"Hilltop and the outposts say they're ready for a fight. And King Ezekiel is headed off to Alexandria to talk to you," he says to Rick. "When you get back up there, I guess. He said he didn't want to travel too far away from home. But I'm pretty sure once he hears just how fucked up Eldritch is, he'll fight with us."

"Good." I scratch at my beard then turn to Rick. "What do you think?"

"I think this guy is a threat to us all. Even if you get the brunt of it, it'll affect us, too. We rely on goods we get from you and without your men, we wouldn't be able to keep this large area clear," Rick comments.

"You know he ain't gonna stop with The Sanctuary," Daryl pipes up. "And he left those walkers on _our_ land. He's seeking revenge on all of us."

"Probably. That fucker's crazy. And we can't allow him to set up shop anywhere again. You _know_ how he ran that place of his. Some of those women he had there live at Alexandria now and I'm sure they fuckin' talked about it."

Both men nod sadly, so I know it's true. Eldritch is exactly the kind of man I don't want living in this world. And he's the kind of man I can revel in fuckin' destroying.

Rick looks up at me. "We're all trying to build something here and there's no way in _hell_ I'm gonna let Eldritch take that away from us."

"Good. I'm glad we're all on the same page."

"How many men we thinking he has?" Simon asks.

Daryl jumps in. "I couldn't tell from the tracks out there. The walkers' tracks were all so could see."

I chime in, "We have no idea how many men survived our fuckin' assault."

"Couldn't have been a lot," Rick comments. "We had guys all over the woods after that and we found nothing."

"That was months ago," Dwight throws in his two cents. "He could've been picking people up this whole time."

We all ponder that thought for a minute.

"He's gotta be fuckin' holed up someplace around here if he's planning on attacking," I say. "He's not gonna do that shit from far away."

"We've still got people in that resort near the place he used to live," Simon responds. "There's no one around _there_. Maybe Gregory knows something."

"Gregory?" Rick whips his head to me. "I thought you killed him."

I shake my head. "I got him in a cell."

Daryl huffs. "You kept that asshole alive all this time?!"

"Oh, that fucker deserves it for all his shit. And he fuckin' wishes he's dead. I guaran-fuckin'-tee it."

"You really think Eldritch woulda told _him_ anything?" Dwight comments in disbelief.

I shrug. "Probably not. But that slippery fucker mighta heard some shit."

Rick shrugs a little. "Maybe."

I turn to Dwight. "Get the maps."

He obeys and goes to the shelves to pick up the maps of the area we have. We've kept them fuckin' updated with the different areas and whose land is whose. Plus all the routes we have marked to various places. Dwight spreads the maps out in front of all of us and we sit forward to fuckin' see them.

Daryl points to a spot up north. "This is where we found the walkers."

"Up that far, Eldritch would know the Alexandrians would be the ones to find them," Simon says as he smooths over his mustache. "We don't typically go up there unless we're trading with The Kingdom. And that's not on the route there for us."

"He's putting us in this," Rick comments.

"I'm sure he hates your fuckin' guts, too, Rick. I mean, your resident ginger is the one that exploded their escape tunnel."

Daryl keeps looking over the maps. "There's no way to tell where that asshole is unless he does something first."

"We'll up patrols," is my answer. "Both in our communities and on the fuckin' border fences to our areas." I get a thought. "You think your Dr. Smartypants could set up remote cameras or some shit?"

Rick and Daryl share a look.

"He's got a lot of stuff in his workshop," Rick mentions. "We can ask."

I nod. Cameras would be fuckin' excellent in this scenario. "If we can catch that motherfucker crossing into our land, we can either end him or follow him back to his base."

Rick agrees. "We'll see what Eugene can do. I know he just got a bunch of computer shit. Maybe he's got some cameras, too."

"Good."

"We should get going," Daryl says to Rick. "Ezekiel's gonna be waiting on us."

"Make sure you tell him everything Eldritch fuckin' did so he knows what he's gonna be fuckin' dealing with."

Rick stands, along with Daryl. "I will. He seems like he'd rather stay out of a fight, but if there's a threat to his people, he'll step up."

They both leave, which leaves me, Simon, and Dwight in the room.

"I want double the check-ins from everyone," I say to Simon. "I'm not gonna get caught with my fuckin' pants down again. That mother fucker isn't gonna get anywhere near my goddamn domain this time. No fuckin' way."

"Sure thing, boss. I'll get on the horn." He stands to leave.

"Dwight, you're with me." I stand and he follows. "We're gonna go fuckin' see our ole buddy Greggy boy."

We both head down to the basement and Dwight unlocks the door to Gregory's cell after turning off the music pumping into it.

"Ho-ly _fuck_!" I call out as soon as the door opens. "You smell like fuckin' shit!"

Gregory turns slowly to me. He's fuckin' naked, scraggly beard all long and fuckin' gross. "Negan..." he starts to plead, but I don't let him finish.

"Save it, asshole. I'm gonna ask you some questions and you're gonna fuckin' answer. If your answers are fuckin' useful to me, I'll fuckin' give you a treat."

"Yes, sir," he grovels from his place on the floor beneath me. "Thank you, thank you."

"Did Eldritch ever fuckin' mention any other places he might want to live? Did he have any fuckin' contingencies if shit went south for him?"

Gregory looks up at me. "He didn't tell me anything like that."

I shake my head over dramatically and tsk. "Greg. There goes your treat!"

"Wait, wait!" He tries to pull at my pant leg but I fuckin' step away from him.

"You think I want you touching me? You're gross as fuck, old man!"

"I'm sorry!" He backs away and looks up at me. "I-I... I was trying to find my way back home... after you exiled me. Eldritch's men found me. And they took me t-to this country club in Bethesda. That's where I met Eldritch. That was before he attacked you."

"What country club?"

"Bethesda Country Club. T-That's all I know. I promise!"

I nod. That probably _is_ all he fuckin' knows. But then something I never fuckin' thought of occurs to me.

"Did you fuckin' _lead_ Eldritch to me?"

Gregory just stammers and stutters, but that's answer enough for me. I have no fuckin' idea why I didn't put it together earlier. I just fuckin' thought they crossed paths after Eldritch set his eyes on me. And after we took that fucker down, I really didn't have any reason to fuckin' question Gregory. Now, I'm fuckin' pissed about it.

My fuckin' fist flies out and socks Gregory before my brain fuckin' catches up. "You piece of fuckin' shit! This is all on you!"

"I-I didn't-" he tries, but I kick him in the fuckin' ribs.

"You sniveling son of a bitch!" I lift Lucille above my head to fucking end this fucker once and for all, but I stop myself. A quick death is way too good for this fucker.

"Please, Negan!" Gregory calls out weakly.

I drop Lucille down and that fucker breathes a sigh of relief. "I'm not gonna give you the easy way out," I growl down to him, then turn to Dwight. "Cut his food and water in half."

"Wha- Wait!" Gregory actually tries to fuckin' plead with me.

I can't deal with this shit anymore, so I kick that fucker right in the jaw and he goes down. I don't know if he's fuckin' knocked out cold and I don't fuckin' care. It doesn't fuckin' matter to me one goddamn bit. "There's your fuckin' treat," I spit out before I leave the cell.

As I walk down the hall, I think of what Gregory told me. I don't fuckin' know if Eldritch does have a place up in Bethesda, but it's somewhere to fuckin' start. And it's the only info I've got.

I go back upstairs and gather the guards on my floor into my office. Since Chuck had the baby, I've had at least four guards on my floor at all times, one by the stairwell door, one by the elevator, one on my office door, and one by the entrance to my living quarters. I know these guys are loyal, so I trust the shit outta them to protect my family. That's why I fuckin' chose these guys in the first place. Now that there's a threat here from fuckin' Eldritch, I'm gonna keep these guards on and I'm gonna close off my entire floor to everyone else but me and Simon. Anyone else that fuckin' needs to be up here will have to be escorted by me personally. And I tell the guards that shit.

I dismiss them back to their posts and walk into my kitchen. I'm surprised to see Chuck standing at the stove cooking dinner, with Maddie in the bassinet nearby. Chuck has really been trying to cook for me and I fuckin' love it. Sure, they're all Sherry's recipes, but Chuck does them fuckin' good. I told her she didn't have to do all that shit, but she said she wants to take care of me. I'd never fuckin' _ask_ her to do anything, but it feels so fuckin' good to have her want to do shit for me.

I go over to my little princess in the bassinet and she looks up at me with a sweet ass smile. "Look who's awake."

"She's been cooing for about ten minutes."

I pick Maddie up and bob her around. She always seems to have a smile on her face when I do that, so I think she likes it.

"I heard what you said to the guards," Chuck suddenly says.

I look at her. "I'm just taking precautions."

She nods and turns back to the food on the stove.

"No one is gonna get up here again. I promise you that."

"I know..."

Shit. I do _not_ like the way she said that. "I know you're fuckin' worried."

"Yeah..."

I let out a sigh."Don't shut down on me, please, baby girl."

She slowly turns back to me. "Everything was so perfect," she chokes out. "Why can't it just stay?" She brings her hands up to cover her face when she starts to cry.

I walk over to her and shift Maddie so I can hold her with one arm. I use my free arm to wrap around Chuck and pull her into me. "Everything still _is_ perfect. It's not gonna fuckin' change," I try to convince her.

She pushes away from me to turn the stove off. "You don't know." She walks away from me then turns back. "You don't know what he's capable of."

Before I can really think, I'm spouting off. "Don't fuckin' tell me I don't know what he's capable of. I fuckin' _know_ what that sick fuck wanted to do with you and those women. He told me himself." It comes out way harsher than I needed and I'm instantly apologetic. Especially when I see her face and she looks fuckin' hurt. "I shouldn't've fuckin' said that."

"What do you mean 'women'?"

Shit. I never told Chuck about Eldritch wanting me to hand over women for him to fuckin' breed. I fuckin' swore the few people that knew that to secrecy. Because that shit's so fucked up and I knew it would fuck people up to hear about it.

I shake my head. "I just meant-"

"Tell me," she says forcefully.

I set Maddie back in the bassinet and walk over to Chuck. "Baby-"

"No! Don't keep shit from me."

Fuck. She only swears when she's really upset.

I let out a breath. "Eldritch wanted me to give him women so he could get them fuckin' pregnant," I say plainly, so I can get it out. "And he threatened he'd keep you and do it to you after you gave birth."

I see her eyes well up, so wrap her up in a hug.

"I didn't know that. That's awful," she says quietly into my chest. "We have to kill him."

"I'm gonna kill him," I say into the top of her head. "I'm not gonna let him slip away again."

A few days later, I send out a team to check out that fuckin' country club Gregory mentioned. I didn't go with them because I knew Chuck wouldn't fuckin' want me to. It's all just recon, anyway. Me being there wouldn't've really helped. Especially because they didn't find shit out there. No one had lived in that fuckin' place for months. At least. So our only fuckin' lead blew up in smoke.

— —

The next week is pretty tense, even though it's quiet. There are no attacks, but all the saviors stay on high alert regardless. That includes the guards on the fifth floor, which stay 24/7 in rotating shifts.

On this day, Negan is sitting on the couch bottle feeding Maddie as Chuck pumps from her seat beside him. Chuck has been pumping and freezing her extra milk just in case it's needed. Amber had started saving her extra milk, too. And both of their efforts have proven important because some of the milk is being sent to Alexandria in the weekly trades to help Maggie, who has been having trouble producing enough milk for her new baby son. It makes Chuck happy that she can help out in that way. She even sent a little note of reassurance to the other new mother when the guys headed out to the meeting spot this morning.

"You all full, sweet pea?" Negan pulls the bottle away from Maddie and stands to burp the baby.

"Did she empty it?" Chuck asks as she continues to pump.

Negan moves Maddie onto his shoulder and starts to rub her back. "Just about."

"She definitely has a good appetite."

"Good thing your titties can keep up." He gives her a mischievous grin. "Not that I ever thought your fat ass tits wouldn't perform."

Chuck laughs. "I'm not to sure there's a correlation. But I hope you're not expecting my boobs to look like they used to after all this. They're probably gonna deflate."

"I'm gonna be all over those tits, regardless, sweetheart."

She giggles again. "My husband, the romantic," she jokes.

Just then, Maddie lets out a loud burp.

"Whoa!" Negan calls out with a laugh.

"And my daughter, the dainty lady!"

"Shit, sweet pea. I must've let you gulp in a shit ton of air." He pulls Maddie forward and wipes her mouth with the towel on his shoulder. "You don't let 'er rip like that when Mommy feeds you."

"She likes it when you feed her, though." Chuck finishes with the pump and pulls her shirt back down. After putting the milk in the freezer, she comes back over to Negan and Maddie. "Is she out already?" she asks as she gently touches the now sleeping girl's cheek.

"Looks like it." He looks from Maddie to Chuck. "We can get our fuck on."

Chuck laughs. "Yeah. Okay."

"Fuck yeah." Negan sets Maddie in the bassinet, then immediately starts to unzip his pants.

Just as Chuck starts to follow him in getting undressed, there's a knock at the door.

" _It's Simon_ ," comes from the other side of the door.

"Motherfucker," Negan mutters and pulls his pants back up. "Hang on," he calls out then waits for Chuck to get decent again before he opens the door.

"Hey, Chuck," Simon greets as he enters.

"What is it, Simon?" Negan asks impatiently. "We were just gonna fuck."

"Negan!" Chuck chides, but Negan just shrugs.

"Something weird happened at the trade earlier," Simon starts to explain. "There was an attack. Sorta."

"What the fuck you mean 'sorta'?"

"Well, they weren't really sure what was happening at first, but... They were getting shot at by slingshots and BBs. And darts."

Negan looks at Simon in confusion. "What the fuck?"

"Yeah. They didn't see much. The attackers were in and out pretty quick. But there was a bunch of them."

Chuck is confused, too. "Is everyone okay?"

"Most of our guys and the Alexandrians have cuts and bruises, but that's it."

"Is this Eldritch?" Chuck asks, not sure if she wants the answer to be yes or no.

Simon shrugs. "Daryl tracked them a bit, but he lost the trail before it lead anywhere."

"Why the fuck would anyone come at us with fuckin' BB guns? Especially Eldritch."

"I don't know, brother. It's weird." Simon lets out a sigh. "And with that country club tip not panning out..."

"Country Club tip?" Chuck asks. Negan hadn't mentioned anything about a country club.

"Simon-" Negan starts, but Simon answers over top of him.

"The place Gregory said Eldritch might be."

Chuck whips her head to Negan. "Gregory?" Negan had told her about Gregory and how he was exiled from Hilltop only to show up again with Eldritch. But he made it seem like Hilltop had gotten rid of him. So Chuck assumed the man was dead. "Hilltop Gregory?"

Negan glares at Simon for a second then addresses Chuck. "Yeah," is all he says.

"I thought he was dead."

"He's not," Negan replies tersely.

Chuck is confused at the way both Negan and Simon are acting. Simon looks almost guilty as he shifts his eyes between her, Negan, and his own feet. And Negan is being purposely curt.

"Where is he?" she asks.

Negan gestures to the door. "Simon?"

The man takes the cue and leaves.

Chuck is still confused. "What is it?"

He lets out a sigh. "If I ask you to drop this, will you?"

"Why?"

Negan nods slowly, but doesn't raise his head to answer. "I brought him back here after shit went down. He's been in a goddamn cell since then."

Chuck is shocked. After all, she knows a tiny bit what it's like to be in a cell; she spent a day in one when she first got to The Sanctuary. And she knows she didn't even get the full experience. "That was six months ago! He's been locked up for _six months_!" She can't even imagine being down there for that long.

"He fuckin' deserves it, Chuck."

"That's..." She doesn't know what to say. "That's _torture_ , Negan!"

"He fuckin' deserves it! For all the shit he pulled. He wanted to fucking _kill_ me, remember?"

Chuck shakes her head. It's one thing to kill someone bloody like Negan did with Brendon and many other people, but prolonged torture? She has a very hard time accepting that.

"Negan..." She shakes her head. "You're a _father_ , now."

He swings his arms out wide. "I still gotta fuckin' be _Negan_!"

She understands what he's saying, but she's still not okay with it.

Negan lets out a deep breath. "He led Eldritch here," he says more calmly.

It makes Chuck look at him, but she doesn't respond.

"He _led_ Eldritch here, Chuck. Eldritch was up in Bethesda before he fuckin' met Gregory. All that shit. All the people we fuckin' lost is on _Gregory's_ fuckin' head."

She processes all that. It doesn't make the torture any easier to swallow, though. "I don't like you keeping him in the cells."

"What the fuck else would you have me do?"

"Execute him. Being tortured for six months has to be worse than dying!"

"That's the fucking point!"

Maddie starts to cry at the sudden loud noise. Chuck rushes over to her to calm her.

"It's okay, baby," Chuck gently says as she lifts the little girl and cradles her in her arms. "Shh."

Negan comes over and sets his hand on the baby's head. "I'm sorry," he whispers to Chuck. "I'm not mad at you, sweetheart."

Chuck just nods as she tries to get the baby back to sleep.

"I'm really sorry, Chuck. But he's fuckin' staying where he is."

She looks up at her husband, then back down to their baby. She's not going to agree with Negan on this, but she knows he's made up his mind.

"Okay, Negan," she responds quietly, the baby finally calming down in her arms.


	4. Chapter 4

Chuck wakes up in Negan's arms, just like she does most mornings. Though she was always a night owl and Negan was mostly an early riser, they've both adapted to go to bed and wake up at the same time, sort of in the middle.

She hums as Negan traces his fingers over her arm, apparently already awake. "Morning," she whispers, her voice not exactly awake yet.

He brings his other arm around her and gives her a little squeeze. "Morning."

She snuggles more into his chest. "Maddie awake?"

"Yeah. She's fuckin' babbling, but she hasn't cried."

"Must not be hungry yet," Chuck comments then yawns. "Let's go back to sleep."

"Sounds fuckin' good to me."

Not a few minutes later is there a knock on the door.

" _It's Simon_ ," comes from the other side.

"Shit," Negan mutters. "Are we decent?" He lifts the blanket to look under it.

Chuck giggles and slaps his chest playfully. "Yes, we're decent." Before Maddie came, sleeping in any clothes was just inconvenient, since the clothes would be taken off at some point anyway. With a new baby, though, their sex lives aren't quite as active. Not that they don't make time for each other, because they definitely do. Just not last night.

"Come in," Negan calls out as he steps out of bed in his underwear.

Simon enters, looking a little disheveled. He's never been one to be up with the sun, but he's really stepped up to more responsibility, being the one most people go to first to allow Negan to have more time with his family. "Sorry to wake you guys up. But, uh, we had a situation."

As Simon speaks, Chuck moves to Maddie's bassinet to check on her. She's completely content to lay there, so Chuck doesn't pick her up yet. She knows she'll get hungry in about twenty minutes, anyway.

"What the fuck kinda situation?" Negan asks tensely.

Simon lets out a heavy breath. "All the guys that were attacked at the pickup the other day turned."

"What?!" Negan reacts in shock. "What the _fuck_ do you mean 'turned'?!"

"Dead," Simon explains. "Most of them turned durning the night. The others were close to it so they got put down."

Chuck is shocked. They haven't had any of the dead inside the fences since Dr. Carson unfortunately died. And that was months ago.

Negan seems just as shocked, too. He shakes his head for a moment before he speaks again. "I thought they got shot with BBs and darts and shit. What the fuck!"

Simon shrugs. "They did. We don't know what the fuck happened. But... a few more got bit before they were put down."

"Goddamnit." Negan shakes his head then looks down. "How many?"

"We lost sixteen total," Simon answers

Chuck gasps. "Oh my god." She hates to hear that people have died needlessly.

Negan raises his gaze to Simon again. "How the fuck..." He lets out a huff. "How the _fuck_ do you die from a goddamn BB gun?"

Simon shakes his head, but doesn't say anything.

"What if they were poisoned?" Chuck blurts out.

Both men turn to look at her.

Chuck clarifies her statement. "There was that guy that got poisoned with ricin by a pellet fired from an air gun. What if there was something on the BBs and stuff that went into their system."

Negan blinks a few times, seemingly thinking it over. Then, he looks up and covers his eyes. "Fuck." He scrubs his hand down his face. "They were covered in biter blood."

Simon's face drops. "Shit. That's fucked up, but..." he rubs his fingers over his mustache, "that makes sense. We know biter blood makes us sick, so I guess it makes sense someone would turn that into a weapon."

Negan lets out a huff. "Call a meeting in an hour," he says to Simon. "And talk to Rick. His people were in that fuckin' ambush, too."

Chuck's head snaps up. "Oh my god. Uncle Aaron..."

"I'll ask about him." Simon nods then takes his leave.

Chuck watches Negan as he casts his eyes down again. "What are we gonna do?" she asks quietly.

Negan looks up to her. "We're gonna find Eldritch and I'm gonna fuckin' kill that motherfucker." He walks over to Chuck and wraps her in his arms. "Don't worry, baby girl." He kisses her head. "I'm gonna end him."

"I just don't understand why he can't stop. Why he doesn't see that living together is better than... fighting. War."

"He's a fuckin' psychopath. All he cares about is his own fuckin' power."

"We're really lucky we didn't have a full outbreak," she mutters.

"I know," he whispers into her hair.

"It could've all been over. We coulda been overrun."

Negan pulls back to look Chuck in the face. "But we weren't. Because my people know what to do. They've been _trained_ what to do. I'm goddamn sure Eldritch was expecting this shit to decimate us, but we're smart. He's underestimated us at every fuckin' turn and this time, it's gonna fuckin' kill him."

— Negan's POV —

I walk into my full fuckin' meeting room without saying a word. When I sit down, Simon starts to talk.

"Rick lost thirty one. Aaron is fine. But I guess his husband is one of the thirty one."

"Fuck," mutter as I set Lucille down in front of me.

"Two more had to get an arm and a leg amputated." Simon shrugs. "So they might not make it."

Everyone is fuckin' quiet for a moment. This shit sucks and everyone knows it.

Gavin leans forward. "We _know_ it's Eldritch?" he asks.

I nod. "Yup. It's gotta be him. He sure as fuck left that note for me up north, so I think we can safely assume this shit has his stink all fuckin' over it."

Regina shakes her head. "How did you let him get away the first time?" She's not looking at anyone, but I fuckin' know she's talking to me.

And it pisses me right off.

"That shit we did at his compound wasn't a fucking precision assassination by design," I bite back. "We blew shit up! Sent hundreds of fuckin' biters in to do our fuckin' bidding. Yeah, I thought we killed the fucker and I'm fuckin' pissed that he's still alive, but I wasn't seeing _you_ coming up with a better fuckin' plan to infiltrate his shit to slit is fuckin' throat, _Regina_."

"I'm just saying-" she starts, but I don't let her finish.

" _I'm_ just saying that we wrecked. his. shit the first time! And this fuckin' stunt he pulled proves that he's scrambling. He can't come at us with fuckin' herds of dead cuz we've taken care of all of them in the immediate fuckin' area. He can't ram us with fuckin' trucks cuz we came back from that assault with what was left of his goddamn fuel. And there sure as fuck ain't enough out there for him to scavenge anymore. He's coming at us with this covert shit, but it fuckin' failed. He wanted us to get overrun, but we fuckin' stopped it."

" _Sixteen_ of our people are dead," Regina spit out.

"And it coulda been a fuckin' _hundred_!" I roar back with a slam of my fist. "I fuckin' hate that a single goddamn soul under my watch was lost, but _you_ ," I point my finger right at her, "acting like all this shit coulda been easily prevented are completely fuckin' wrong. And it gets us fuckin' nowhere with what we are going to have to fuckin' do to put that psycho fuckin' dickweed down so he doesn't fuck any more lives up!"

Everyone is quiet again. They know I'm fuckin' pissed and that's not a good fuckin' thing.

Regina clears her throat. "I'm sorry, sir," she says quietly, but not insincerely. She knows she fucked up. "I was close with a few of those guys."

"I know," I respond. "This shit sucks, but we're gonna fuckin' end it." I sit back in my chair and take a deep breath. "We got that nerdy Alexandrian Eugene scrounging up some cameras for us. If we can get that shit to work, then we can get a heads up if people cross over into our fuckin' territory."

"Where are we thinking Eldritch is?" Simon asks.

Dwight jumps in. "There's not a camp within our territory. We would've seen something on our patrols."

"He set those Negan lookin' biters loose up north," Bill starts. "Could be up that way."

I shake my head. "He's not between Alexandria and The Kingdom. And any further north is DC, which is such a fuckin' shit show, _no one_ could live up there."

Simon nods, too. "West and south are real fuckin' rural. Barely any buildings for miles. I don't think Eldritch is the kinda guy to rough it. But..." he shrugs, "maybe."

I shake my head. "I bet he's got numbers, though. That cowardly fuck wouldn't attack unless he had the men to fight his fuckin' battles for him. And living out in the woods with a few dozen or so people is pretty fuckin' impossible now."

"That leaves across the river," Dwight says.

I nod. "Yup. Get some guys out to cover that bridge near Alexandria. That's the easiest fuckin' way to get over here. And get some guys out on scouting missions south and west, just in fuckin' case."

I get some nods.

"But I want to know if someone crosses that bridge. Because if they do, we'll fuckin' _know_ that Eldritch's base is across the river."

"And then?" Dwight asks and everyone looks at me.

I chuckle low in my chest. "Then we find that fucker and make him fuckin' pay for all this shit."

— —

The next day, Negan enters his apartment and sits beside Chuck on the couch with a sigh. She had taken the news of her uncle Eric's death a little hard, but she's trying to put on a brave face. Especially for Aaron's sake. She had ventured down to the radio room to talk to him and he was, understandably, a little bit of a mess.

One of the cats, Moe, immediately jumps up on Negan's lap and lays down.

"You doing okay, baby girl?"

She looks up from her book. "Yeah. It sucks losing Uncle Eric."

He runs his fingers down her cheek. "I know, sweetheart."

"I wish I could have seen him more often."

Negan nods. "He knew you loved him."

She really hopes that's true.

"Didn't I say at some point that these cats weren't fuckin' allowed in here when Maddie was?" he comments, lightening the mood a little.

Chuck puts down the book she was reading. When she laid Maddie down for her nap, she decided to pick up a light mystery novel to pass the time and get her mind off of what happened. "They're not bothering her. And it's not like I'm letting them jump in her bed with her."

"You know, most people are scared fuckin' shitless if they think they're disobeying a direct order from me," he says with a smirk.

Chuck raises her eyebrows. "Oh, you order me now?"

He chuckles a little, but it turns into a sigh.

"What is it?" she asks, seeing that something is weighing on him.

Negan scrubs his hand down his face. "Just got off the radio with Ezekiel. Eldritch attacked them, too."

"What?" she calls out in shock.

"Some people came up the their gates asking for fuckin' refuge, I guess. They let them in and two days later, they fuckin' turned. I guess they found syringes in their rooms filled with biter blood. Those crazy fuckers killed themselves just to wreak havoc." He shakes his head.

"Did they lose anyone?"

"About twenty, I guess."

"God," she whispers in shock. "That's so horrible."

"Ezekiel's on board now, obviously. There's that, I guess. He says he'll join the fight whole heartedly."

"Why did Eldritch go after _them_? They weren't even involved in the attack in his compound."

"Eldritch is fucking insane is my best guess. He has to be. With all of our groups banded together," Negan shakes his head, "no fuckin' way I would mess with us. But that egotistical fuck thinks he's gonna take over shit here. I know the type. Probably a trust fund kid all his life and now that money is fuckin' gone, power's the only thing he wants."

"He said as much," Chuck admits.

"He did?"

She nods. She doesn't like to talk about her time at Eldritch's compound, so Negan doesn't know a lot of the details. "He told me he moved down here from Baltimore because it was a free for all up there. Then when he saw you making a real community and adding Hilltop to it, he wanted to stop you from becoming even more powerful." She looks down. "'Power has to be absolute' is what he said."

Negan shakes his head. "I've never hated anything like I hate that motherfucker."

Chuck leans into him, cuddling up to his side. "He's a horrible man and he deserves it."

He kisses her head. "After he's gone, everything will go back to fuckin' normal. I promise. We can watch Maddie get bigger. Hear her say 'dada' as her first word."

Chuck giggles. "'Dada', huh? Not 'Mama'."

"Of course 'Dada'." He chuckles. "Her first steps are gonna be right over there." He points to the empty area of his floor. "She's gonna meet her first boyfriend at the age of twenty five."

Chuck hits his chest. "Don't wish that on her."

"What?"

"I didn't exactly have a boyfriend until I was twenty five and I can tell you, it made for a lonely teenage existence."

"I'm sorry, baby girl." He kisses her head. "I don't really know what to fuckin' say to that because I sure as fuck don't want to say I wish you had a bunch of boyfriends. But I don't want to say I wish I had been messing around with you back then, either."

Chuck laughs. "Yeah. That would have been a little illegal."

"A _lot_ illegal."

"Wow, you really are a dirty old man," she jokes.

"Watch it, little girl."

She giggles, then gets somber. "I wouldn't have changed anything, though," Chuck replies quietly. "I wouldn't have changed a single thing because I'm here with you _now_. And Maddie is here, too."

Negan gives Chuck a sweet kiss. "All the shit I've been through... You and that little girl make it all worth it."

Chuck smiles up at her husband. "Ditto."

Negan laughs. "You can't just 'ditto' that! That was heartfelt as shit!"

Chuck can't help but laugh back at him.

— Negan's POV —

A bunch of days later, I'm trying my fuckin' hardest to understand this mulleted son of a bitch sitting in front of my desk as he tries to explain what he's been doing all morning.

"...range is not ideal," he drones on about the fuckin' cameras he's set up. "But given the fact that electronic security equipment was not a high priority for people to extract from buildings, especially in lieu of food, water, weaponry, supplies, and the like, we can find more cameras in basically every store and some of the statelier of homes. Then, of course, we can set up small manned stations along our borders using renewable energies such as solar panels or windmills to power our security equipment with said cameras. This could cut down on patrols and manpower in certain areas leading to better management of resources all around."

"Sounds fuckin' great," I reply unenthusiastically. It's not that I don't want this shit, I do, but my mood has been fuckin' sour for a while. Chuck's still upset about her uncle fuckin' dying and not being able to visit Aaron. Which sucks. But I can't have her outside the fuckin' gates. Especially now. And the longer it takes us to find Eldritch, the more pissed off I get at everything.

"Along with the cameras, I designed a rudimentary program to control the spotlights I have placed around your perimeter. They can be remotely turned on, or when they're tripped by motion sensors, alert one of the men stationed in the security office by the gate." He looks down a little. "I admit, my coding is a little underdeveloped, but it should get the job done."

"Coding?" I remember Chuck telling me that's what she did before all this shit blew up society. "My wife might be able to fuckin' help out with that." I look away from him and to the guard by my door. "Arat!" I call out.

"Yes, sir?"

"Get Chuck and Maddie out here. We're going downstairs."

Just a few minutes later, we're all in the little room we have set up by the gate. (Arat is waiting outside. Just in case.) There are a bunch of monitors and a computer set up on the desk. Looks professional as fuck, actually.

"So you want me to make a program to control all the lights?" Chuck confirms as she sits in the chair.

"That is correct," Eugene answers. "Coding is not my forte, though I did read a book about it."

"I might be out of practice; it's been a few years. I think I can use what you made as a jumping off point."

She gets to work and, fuck, she's a fast typer. Not that I know what the fuck she's typing. Looks like gibberish to me. The whole time she's typing away, I got my little princess in my arms, just bobbing her up and down and talking to her. When she starts to fuss, I know she's hungry.

"Lunch break," I call out then turn to Eugene. "Why don't you go get us some food."

"Oh, uh. Yes, sir," he answers.

Once he leaves and we're alone, I hand Maddie over to Chuck so she can do her thing.

As Chuck pulls up her shirt and situates Maddie on her chest, she lets out a little contented sigh. "I forgot how much I loved coding."

"I can get you a computer upstairs."

She giggles. "I would like that. Even if I'm just messing around. I could make some little games for Maddie when she's older." Chuck looks fuckin' excited about that. "Or maybe we could actually start to use computers around here. Automate some stuff."

I shrug. "Maybe. I don't know shit about any of that shit."

"Maybe I could make something for the points system. Make a network that people can look at so runners wouldn't have to give out the daily tolls."

I think it over. "That would be kinda fuckin' awesome, actually."

She shrugs a shoulder. "There are already hook ups in most of the rooms for the wires. This was a pretty modern factory before all this. I'm sure we can find a million computers out there, too." She looks down at Maddie for a second, checking on her. "As long as we have the electricity, why not?"

"Shit yeah! You and Eugene can get that stuff all set up at some point."

Before Maddie is completely finished, Eugene comes back in the room without knocking.

"What the fuck!" I call out and stand in front of Chuck to shield her from his view.

"Oh, god," that mulleted fucker mutters with a look on his face like he's about to piss his pants.

"It's okay, Negan." Chuck says from behind me. "I don't care if he's in here. Breastfeeding shouldn't be embarrassing."

"I don't want him looking at your tits!" I say without turning back.

She lets out a huff. "He's not-"

The man in question interrupts. "I am very uncomfortable, so I am going to de-ass this area. Call me when you're done." Eugene drops the trays of food on the table and leaves like the fuckin' place is on fire.

When I turn around, Chuck is shaking her head. "What?" I ask.

"Breastfeeding shouldn't be taboo."

"I didn't fuckin' say it was taboo. I just don't want people to see you with your titties out."

She shakes her head again, but I just shrug.

A few hours later, we finally get everything done and the lights work fuckin' fantastic. And the saviors on guard are excited as shit about this stuff.

"I am pleased as fuckin' punch with this." I call out. This seems like the first fuckin' step to re-modernizing shit."

As me and Chuck walk back upstairs, I look down at Maddie fast asleep in my arms.

"She's tuckered the fuck out," I comment.

"She'll be up at dinner time," Chuck says with a smirk and takes the little girl from me.

That reminds me. "Let me ask you something, Arat."

She turns around a little as she walks in front of us. "Go ahead, sir."

"If you had a fuckin' baby, would you be okay to breastfeed it in front of men?" I know she's gonna side with me, so Chuck will maybe see my point. "Like random fuckin' men," I tack on.

She shrugs. "I would feed my baby wherever. I wouldn't give a shit who was around, sir."

Shit. That didn't go as planned. And Chuck knows it.

"See?" she calls up to me with a smug fuckin' expression on her face.

"But you know men are are gonna fuckin' _ogle_ you."

"That sounds like a man problem," Arat throws back.

"Yeah," Chuck agrees. "Like instead of keeping women locked up or covered, maybe men should just, I don't know, not be creeps and keep their eyes in their sockets."

"Men's eyes just go to titties automatically," I say. "We can't fuckin' help it. This guy knows." I point to Fat Joey, who just happened to walk by right at that moment.

"Uh, what?" he asks, not having a fuckin' clue what I was saying.

We all stop and I put my arm around him. "Titties," I start. "You like 'em, right?"

"Uh..." His eyes flick over the two women in my company, trying to gauge how to answer. Shit, I love fuckin' with this kid. "Y-Yes, sir," he finally gets out, though I can tell he's not sure if that was the right thing to say. FYI, pretty much nothing is the right fuckin' thing to say in this situation.

Chuck and Arat both roll their eyes. But I don't care. I'm actually having fuckin' fun right now.

I turn back to Fat Joey. "So, say... your significant other started to walk around topless. Would you think it would be overstepping to _suggest_ that she cover up so motherfuckers wouldn't eyeball her?"

"Breastfeeding isn't walking around topless, Negan," Chuck bites back immediately, but she's not really fuckin' angry. "And, anyway, what women are wearing or not wearing isn't an excuse for men to act like dicks."

I think for a second. She's probably fuckin' right. I guess I never thought about it like that.

"I-I agree with her, sir," Fat Joey almost whispers. "I wouldn't look at a woman feeding a baby like that."

I stare at him. "Really?" I shake out my head and let go of him. "Alright, alright. You've enlightened me. I guess that's a fuckin' archaic way to see shit."

"Exactly!" Chuck calls out.

Just then Maddie lets out this noise and we all look at her.

"Did she just fuckin' laugh?" I move over to her and, sure enough, she's got a huge fuckin' smile on her face. Even though she smiles a lot, we've never heard her laugh yet.

Chuck's whole face lights up. "Are you laughing at Mommy and Daddy?" she asks the little girl in her arms.

Maddie lets out another little laugh and I start to tickle her.

"My little laughing princess." I make a face at her and she laughs even more.

Me, Chuck, Arat, and Fat Joey all stand around and make faces at my little girl like the fuckin' idiots we are. But Maddie is having a good old fuckin' time, laughing like it's going outta fuckin' style. After a few minutes, my fuckin' cheeks hurt from smiling so much.

That little girl fuckin' kills me. And it's nice to get my fuckin' mind off of shit for a minute.

— —

Another day, another rude awakening.

" _It's Simon_ ," the familiar unwanted greeting comes from the other side of Chuck and Negan's bedroom door.

Negan lets out a groan. "Hang on, we're fuckin' naked," he calls out. As he pulls up his boxers, Chuck throws on her robe and cinches the tie around her waist. Negan opens the door and lets Simon in.

"Hilltop was attacked," Simon says simply.

Negan just looks at him for a second. "Attacked how?" he finally spits out.

"Guys broke in during the night and burned the crops."

Negan lets out a heavy breath and scrubs a hand down his face. "Jesus _fuckin'_ Christ."

"No one's hurt," Simon quickly clarifies. "And they got the fires out. Half the crops are fuckin' damaged, though."

Negan pauses a second before he suddenly punches the wall, putting his fist right through the drywall. "Fuck!"

"Negan!" Chuck yells in shock, but her attention moves over to Maddie, who is now crying. "Shh," she tries to soothe the baby as she picks her up and cradles her in her arms.

Simon puts his hand on Negan's shoulder. "The Hillfolk said it's still early enough in the season they can maybe plant some extra stuff to replace the shit we lost. Everything is going to be alright, brother."

Negan looks up and meets Chuck's gaze for a moment before looking at Maddie, who is still crying in her arms. "Fuck," he mutters and walks over to them. "I'm fuckin' sorry." He bends down to kiss his daughter on the head.

"Are you okay?" Chuck whispers to Negan as Maddie finally calms down.

He looks down at his hand. "I'm fine." He gently sets his forehead on Chuck's. "I'm sorry," he whispers.

"It's okay," she responds. "I don't want you to hurt yourself."

Simon cuts back in. "There is a silver lining."

Both Chuck and Negan look to him, waiting for him to elucidate.

"The men watching the bridge said they saw some guys cross from our side back into Maryland early this morning," Simon explains.

Negan doesn't say anything for a moment. "They didn't fuckin' see them come over in the first place?"

Simon shakes his head. "They must've been over here before we started to scope out the bridge. Maybe scoping shot out. But I'm sure those assholes were Eldritch's men. And now we got some guys following them back home."

Negan stares for a moment before his lips creep up in a slow grin. The sight almost scares Chuck, seeing such a cold expression on the face that she's used to seeing so caring.

He lets out a low chuckle, almost snarl, before growling out, "Those fuckers just signed their death warrant."


	5. Chapter 5

— Negan's POV —

I look at Simon, letting it fuckin' sink in that we're gonna fuckin' know where Eldritch is laying his goddamn head.

"I wanna know the _second_ our guys get back and tell us where that motherfucker is."

Simon nods.

"And get on the horn and talk to Rick and Ezekiel. Tell them when we get Eldritch's fuckin' location, we're gonna head out to scope the place. I want to fuckin' start planning to kill that fuckin' piece of shit as soon as we goddamn can."

"Sure thing, brother" Simon replies. He claps me on the shoulder before fuckin' leaving.

I turn back to Chuck and she's fuckin' staring at me. "I'm gonna fuckin' get him this time."

I can see her face fuckin' twist up with worry. "I don't want you to."

I don't fuckin' understand. "What? Why? Why the fuck wouldn't you want him dead?"

Her eyes start to well up. "I do," she chokes out. "I just don't want you risking your life to do it." She puts her hand on Maddie's head softly as she clutches her closer to her chest. "We need you, Negan," she whispers.

Fuck, that almost breaks my heart. I walk over to her and hug her lightly so I don't fuckin' crush my little girl. "I'm gonna come back to you." I cradle her face with one hand and set the other on Maddie's head. "Don't worry, baby girl." I kiss her softly. "I'm never gonna fuckin' leave you."

The tears start to fall from her eyes. "You can't prom-"

I don't let her say it. "I will _always_ come back to you. I _will_ promise you that." I sweep my thumb over her cheek to rid it of a fuckin' tear. I hate to fuckin' upset her, but I have to do this.

We sit together with Maddie on our laps, just holding onto each other until Simon comes back up a few hours later.

"Get the location?" I ask as I stand.

Simon nods. "Eldritch is in a mall over in Maryland. The guys are all ready to go, waiting for your say."

"Relay the location to the Rick and Ezekiel," I say to him as I move over to the door to pick up Lucille leaning against the wall. "Tell them we'll meet at Alexandria and we'll come up with a fuckin' plan when we see what we're dealing with."

"Alright, boss." Simon doesn't waste any fuckin' time and leaves.

When I turn back to Chuck, she's already walking toward me with Maddie in her arms.

"I'm gonna see you off," she says with tears in her eyes.

"Okay, baby girl." I kiss her on the forehead before we head downstairs.

When we get to the waiting horses, I put Lucille on my saddle and take Maddie from Chuck.

"Daddy's gonna be gone for a couple days. Take care of Mommy while I'm gone," I say to her as she smiles up at me. "I love you, my little princess." I kiss her on the cheek and she lets out a little giggle.

Chuck comes up to me and wraps her arms around me with Maddie between us. "Please be careful," she whispers. "Don't attack unless you're _sure_ you're gonna beat him."

I give her a kiss. "I won't, baby girl. I promise."

She takes Maddie back from me. "I love you."

"I love you, too." I mount up, never once breaking eye contact with my girl. Not until I have to turn to leave.

It's a long fuckin' ride on the horses. We get to Alexandria and strategize with Rick and Ezekiel. Since The Kingdom is just about as far away from Alexandria as The Sanctuary, Ezekiel and his men got there not long before we did. After our little rest and planning session, we head out again.

The bridge is fuckin' clear, so we cross it easily. Once we're on the other side of the river into Maryland, we decide to split the fuck up. With all of our guys combined, we got a hundred or so people in our caravan. Splitting up will allow us to go faster and to be less fuckin' conspicuous. It also means that we can hit this place from both sides.

The biters seem to be pretty goddamn sparse the whole way, so the ride is mostly uneventful. We push through the night and get to the fuckin' mall just before dawn.

It's a fairly large fuckin' building surrounded by parking lots, which isn't fuckin' ideal. That'll make it fuckin' hard to get close to the building without being seen. Thankfully, there's a fuckin' forest surrounding the parking lot on the front and one side, so me and Rick take half the men to hide in the trees. Ezekiel takes his guys to hide amongst the fuckin' buildings to the back and we all start to look for the weak spots.

Fortunately for us, there's a lot of fuckin' windows in the building, so we can see in pretty goddamn easily with our binoculars and shit. Once the sun comes up, anyway. We start to see people fuckin' milling around as they wake up. Everyone we see aren't exactly fuckin' heavily armed. In fact, it looks like there not fuckin' armed at all.

"You seeing any guns?" I ask Rick as we both have binoculars held up to our eyes. He and Daryl are the two closest guys standing around me.

"No," he answers. "You know what else I'm not seeing?"

"What?"

"Crops," he replies. "Or animals."

I put the binoculars down. "I noticed that, too. There's no fuckin' way they got numbers in there without raising crops or animals for food. And there ain't exactly a lot of animals to hunt around here and anything scavenged would be gross as fuck now."

Daryl pipes up. "There couldn't have been much more than twenty people that attacked us with them BB guns."

Rick turns to look at him. "You think that's all they got?"

"I'm not seein' signs of much more," he answers.

I look back through my binoculars. "I'm not either. But there's interior rooms and shit in there. People could be hiding. I went to that fuckin' mall a few times and there's a ton of fuckin' space in there."

Rick scratches at his beard. "There's no solar panels. Doubt there'd be enough fuel left to run generators here."

"So no power," I finish Rick's thought. "Those interior stores would be dark as fuck without windows. Unless they went full mole-people, they'd probably be out where they could see what the fuck they're doing. I'm doubting they got as many fuckin' guys as we do in there." I focus on the people walking around in what was the fuckin' food court and notice something. "Are they all fuckin' dressed the same?" They seem to all be wearing long black or gray coats and dark pants.

Daryl and Rick look at what I am and let out uncomfortable grunts.

"That's weird," Rick finally comments. "Are we dealing with a cult?"

"Fuck," I groan. "I fuckin' hope not. Who the fuck would follow that pretentious dickhole?"

Now that I think about it, Eldritch seems like the exact kind of crazy motherfucker to start a cult.

"Those people The Kingdom let in _did_ commit suicide just to turn," Rick brings up. "That seems like cult behavior. Or at least crazy behavior."

"Goddamnit," I mutter to myself. "If these motherfuckers are full on crazy, that changes shit. They'll be fuckin' unpredictable."

"We got more men," Rick states optimistically. "And we're well armed."

"Yeah," I nod. "But they play fuckin' dirty. And I don't want _any_ of us getting fuckin' nicked by a tainted fuckin' projectile and turning. We got all that open space to cover before we even _get_ to the building."

"It ain't _open_ ," Daryl jumps in. "There's cars we can blend in with all over the place. If we wait until dark and don't move too fast, they won't notice us comin'. It ain't a full moon tonight. It'll be dark."

We spend the rest of the fuckin' day planning and strategizing. By the time the sun starts to set, all of us are getting into position. When it's fuckin' dark, we start to move forward in small groups, slowly weaving in between the cars. Luckily for us, the dead seem to be staying away, so we can do this shit without any surprises from them.

We finally all surround the goddamn building and some of us make our way inside. We keep some guys on the exits, just in fuckin' case these fuckers try to flee. None of Eldritch's guys are fuckin' up and about, which is either good or really fuckin' bad. We might fuckin' catch them unawares, or they might be lying in fuckin' wait.

A gunshot rings out on the other side of the mall. Hopefully it came from Ezekiel's guys.

"Guns up," I call out, anticipating the baddies to start coming at us. I got Lucille in one hand and my handgun in the other. I haven't exactly split any skulls recently, so I didn't want to deny my dirty girl the chance.

We keep pushing forward cautiously, still hearing the gunshots from the other side. Then it dies down and our radios go off.

Ezekiel's voice comes through the speakers. "We have slain half a dozen that attacked us and we've found just as many that surrendered easily."

That's fuckin' confusing. Maybe these fuckers aren't so goddamn crazy. At least not all of them. Right at the fuckin' moment I'm thinking that, some crazy ass fuckface comes running out of a hallway at us full bore, covered in fuckin' blood and guts wielding a goddamn machete.

"Holy shit!" I call out and bring up my pistol to shoot that fucker.

We all end up fuckin' shooting him and he drops like a sack of fuckin' potatoes, full of holes.

"Keep alert!" Rick yells to all of us as we stand our ground. "Ears open!"

Just a moment later, we hear a weak voice coming from one of the dark stores. "We don't wanna fight."

I'm not taking any chances. "Come out slowly with your fuckin' hands up!" I call out to whoever the fuck is in there.

A frail looking woman and man and an equally frail teenage girl come out with their hands raised to the fuckin' sky. They're wearing goddamn rags and look like fuckin' holocaust victims.

"You infected?" I ask.

"No, sir," the man answers.

Some of our guys go over to them to check for weapons.

"They're clean," my savior says.

"Where's Eldritch?" I ask immediately.

The man starts to answer. "He lives on the upper floor in the Sears store." He points weakly with his bony finger in the direction. "We never followed him," he adds. "We we're here first. Our people. He came in and took over. I-I don't know how he got so many of us to believe him, but they turned into monsters. They wouldn't let anyone leave."

The woman and girl cling to each other as they start to fuckin' cry.

The man continues. "If you didn't obey, you starved. I wouldn't let him..." He looks away. "I wouldn't let him sleep with my daughter, so we were all punished."

"Goddamn," I mutter. That's fucked up. "Is the Sears gonna be fuckin' guarded?"

"Yes," he answers. "Most of his fighters are up there. We were about to make a run for it since Eldritch pulled them off the exits. But you guys showed up."

Me and Rick share a look as if to say, "What the fuck do we do with these guys?"

"Are there others like you around here?" Rick finally asks. "People that want out."

"There are five more in the store," he answers. "And some others, too. I'm not sure where."

"How many fuckin' guards up top?" I ask.

"Maybe ten."

"Armed?"

"Yeah. I don't know exactly how many, though."

"Any more fuckin' berserkers like that crazy fuck over there?" I point to the dead guy a few yards away.

"I don't think so."

Me and Rick share another look before he speaks again.

"Gather those people and leave. You can set off on your own or you can wait for us. Then we'll see about getting you a home."

He woman starts to sob. "Thank you. Thank you so much."

We call it in to the guys on the exit to let them out and head upstairs. The Sears is at the very end of the building, so we have a lot of ground to cover. When we're halfway down the hall, Abraham calls out, "Movement ahead!"

We all only have a split second to get cover before bullets start flying. We return fire and when there's a lull in the action, we push up. We start picking the fuckers off one by one until only a few are left.

"Fuckin' surrender, assholes!" I call out. "You're not gonna fuckin' make it out of this alive!"

We hear guns siding along the ground then three sets of hands raise from their hiding spots near the entrance to the store.

Rick yells to them, "Come out slowly!"

They start to obey. That is, until their fuckin' heads explode one by one from the back forward. We all get back in cover, since it seems like someone is shooting from inside the goddamn store.

"Put your fuckin' weapons down now!" I scream.

"Loyalty is so hard to find these days!" Eldritch's voice echoes through the halls.

"I want this fucker alive!" I call out to the guys around me. I'm certainly not giving him an easy way out.

"It looks like you've been making friends," Eldritch says fuckin' smugly.

"Goddamn right I did. Because that's what a _leader_ fuckin' does. He doesn't starve his fuckin' people. Enslave them. Turn them into fuckin' mindless kamikazes."

" _Those_ people were loyal. They got it. They understood what this all meant."

As he speaks, Rick whispers, "Anyone got eyes on him?"

Sasha answers. "To the left. Behind a display shelf. Keep him distracted," she says to me.

I nod. "What the fuck does that mean?" I call out to him.

Sasha, Dwight, Abraham, and Jerry all move off to the left and push forward closer to the entryway of the store.

"It means," Eldritch starts to answer and I can hear the barely contained rage behind his voice, "they understood that _I_ have the power here! This is _my_ fucking domain! You can't take it away from me again!"

"What the fuck do you think I'm doing here, you limp dick fuck?! I already killed your goddamn men! I got your fuckin' hostages downstairs and I'm gonna fuckin' show them what a _real_ leader looks like! What real power is!"

"I will kill every last one of them before I let you take them!" he screams.

"Try it, bitch! Come out here and fight like a man!" I push him further. Sasha and the others are in position now, I just gotta get him to leave his fuckin' spot.

Eldritch laughs a maniacal fuckin' laugh. "A _real_ man?" He laughs again. "Ask sweet Miss Charlotte about that! I certainly showed her what a real man is like."

He's trying to get to me. It's fuckin' working, but I'm not gonna let it show.

"You didn't do _shit_ to her! In fact, she told me you didn't seem man enough to try anything! And she was _right_! You couldn't even keep a fuckin' _pregnant woman_ hostage! How fuckin' _inept_ do you gotta be to let a pregnant woman give you and all your men the slip?!"

He starts to shoot blindly at us from his cover, so we all duck down.

"He's running!" Dwight yells and we all start to run into the store after him.

There are floor to ceiling windows all along the back of the fuckin' store, so we all can see that Eldritch is running straight for them. He shoots some of them out with his gun, shattering the glass and I realize what he wants to fuckin' do.

"Don't let him jump!" I scream to the guys ahead of me.

Sasha lunges for him, knocking him into his fuckin' belly just feet before the window. Abraham comes in and sets his weight on him, holding him the fuck down as he fights fuckin' hard to get up.

"You didn't win, Negan," he growls. "You didn't win!"

"I sure as fuck did!" I answer as I get closer to him.

Even though Eldritch is struggling, Sasha manages to get zip ties on his wrists and ankles.

I kneel down and wrench that fucker's head up by his hipster ass hair so he can look at me. "You're just a no dick prick who thought he could tussle with the big boys." I lean in closer. "And I'm telling you, I'm a _very_ big boy. And you made a fuckin' mistake pissing me off, dipshit."

"What are you gonna do, old man?" he grunts out, since I still have him in that uncomfortable position with his back arched. "So you're gonna kill me. I don't give a shit! Fucking kill me!"

I slam his head down on the hard tile floor, the crunch of his nose fuckin' shattering seems to echo for a second. "Oh, you don't fucking know me well at all." I lean down closer to him and lift his head again. "You know what I did to the last man that touched my girl?" I ask quietly so he has to listen fuckin' hard. "I sliced his face up with a switchblade. I broke both of his collarbones and then I hit him so goddamn hard in the dick with Lucille I broke his pelvis. All while he was alive." I lean in even closer. "And then I fuckin' crushed his windpipe with my bare fuckin' hands and waited the seven fuckin' minutes to see the life slowly drain from his eyes."

I can see the fear on his fuckin' face, but he's still acting fuckin' tough.

"You don't scare me," he whispers.

"Then you're just as fuckin' dumb as I thought you were." I stand and start to walk away. "Put a bag over his head and throw him on the back of my horse," I call out.

When we're all back outside, we got some decisions to make. There are fourteen people in various stages of starvation all huddled together, scared out of their minds. None of them decided to go it alone, which is smart on their parts. But now we gotta figure out what to do with them. We all decide to split them up amongst us, five to The Sanctuary, five to The Kingdom, four to Alexandria. The few families in there weren't split up cuz that would be fuckin' heartless. They all get loaded onto horses and wagons to ride off to their new homes.

Rick walks up to me. "What are you doing with Eldritch?" he asks.

"You can leave. Me and my men will take care of it."

"What are you doing with him?" he asks again pointedly.

I shake my head. "I'm not sure. I have an idea."

"Well, what is it?"

I let out a huff. "I know things have been hunky fuckin' dory for a bit with all of us, but this isn't gonna be all judge and jury court stuff where the sentence is decided by a council. This is gonna be _punishment_. What he fuckin' deserves."

"Did you really do all that?" he asks. "Was it to Brendon?"

I nod. "Yeah. I fuckin' did all that."

"Should I be worried?"

I let out a scoff. "You told me your-fuckin'-self that you bit out a man's throat for your son."

"That was to _protect_ him. It wasn't _vengeance_." He lets out a breath and puts his hands on his hips. "Are you still torturing Gregory?"

"You know he deserves it," I spit back.

"We're trying to make a better world here. We can't do that if this is the kind of justice we're doling out."

"You want Eldritch alive? After all this?!"

"No. I want him dead. But this... torture. This revenge. It has to stop. It can't be like this, Negan."

"I'm taking him, Rick. And I'm gonna give him what he deserves. You're not gonna fuckin' stop me." I glare at him a moment. "I need this," I say more quietly. "He almost took _everything_ I love away. My girls. What would _you_ do?"

He looks away and shakes his head, taking a moment before he speaks again. "I'll help you. _If_ we kill him before we get home. No prolonged torture. This ends today."

I stare at him for a second. "Fine," I concede. "But I want to do it my fuckin' way."

"And you'll execute Gregory when you get home," he tacks on.

I let out a huff. "Fine."

He nods. "Let's do this."

We only take a few men with us, Dwight, Arat, Daryl, and Michonne. We ride out and find the perfect spot, an open field with a lone oak tree standing tall. Under one of its branches, we start to dig a pit about seven feet deep. It takes us the whole rest of the night, but at least the temperature isn't too fuckin' hot so we don't die of goddamn heat stroke.

Eldritch, still fuckin' tied up with the bag on his head, pipes up every once in a while. Someone's usually right there to slap him to shut the fuck up, though.

We keep digging until after the sun comes up. As me and the guys finish up with the hole, the girls go out and gather us some walkers. When they come back with six biters, we push them all in the pit and take a rest for a few minutes before we get shit started.

"What the hell is going on?" Eldritch calls out. He has no idea because he still has his eyes fuckin' covered. "Fucking answer me!"

Alright. It's fuckin' on now.

"You're gonna fuckin' find out." I stomp over to him and drag him away from where he is sitting under the tree so he's right where I want him. I nod to Daryl and he comes over with a rope.

Me and Rick cut the zip ties keeping Eldritch's hands behind his back and pin them above his head so Daryl can tie them with one end of the rope.

"What the fuck are you doing?" Eldritch asks, a little panic in his voice.

"Shut the hell up!" the redneck growls out.

When we have Eldritch tied back up, I take my knife out and start to cut the clothes off him.

He squirms more as panic sets in. "What the fuck are you doing!?"

"I'm not gonna make you put on a _nightie_ if that's what you're fuckin thinking." I stop what I'm doing and stand back up. "Shit. I shoulda made you wear a nightie. That woulda been fuckin' hilarious. Wouldn't it?"

Michonne shoots me one of those mom looks.

"What?" I shrug.

She just shakes her head.

I finish cutting off his clothes until he's fuckin' naked. "You really _do_ have a tiny dick." I almost _have_ to say that. I guess it's not really tiny, but I'm not gonna say _that_. I'm definitely bigger than him. Just saying.

"Shut the fuck up." He tries to squirm more as if that's gonna fuckin' help him.

Daryl throws the rope up and over the fuckin' tree branch that's about ten feet above the top of the pit and attaches it to one of the horse's saddles, making a pulley. As he's doing that, I bend down over Eldritch and take off the fuckin' bag covering his face. He instantly whips his goddamn head around to see where he is and what's fuckin' going on. I nod to Daryl and he mounts the horse, pushing it forward slowly. The rope goes taut against the branch and then starts to pull Eldritch by the arms closer to the pit.

"Whoa, whoa!" Eldritch calls out. "What the fuck!"

"Wait! Stop!" I yell and Daryl stops the horse. "I almost fuckin' forgot!" I walk around to stand by Eldritch's still bound feet. "I promised my dirty girl a drink!" I swing Lucille off my shoulder show him. "But she hasn't had even a _drop_ to wet her whistle!" I bring her back and swing her down, like I'm gonna fuckin' hobble the motherfucker, but I stop short causing him to let out a pathetic fuckin' whine. Instead of hitting him, I run Lucille's barbs over the bottoms of his feet, cutting them open as he screams like a bitch.

I nod back at Daryl and he pushes the horse forward again. The rope pulls Eldritch closer and closer to the fuckin' pit of snarling biters. As he gets lifted into the air, he starts struggle more.

"What the fuck is this?!" Eldritch manages to get on his feet, sorta, as the rope pulls his upper body into the air. He drags his fuckin' heels, like that's gonna stop anything. "You can't fucking do this!"

"I think I am, shitface."

Finally, he feet get dragged over the pit, over the fuckin' dead ones that want to eat him, and he curls his legs up as high as he can.

"That's enough, Daryl," I call out and he stops.

Eldritch is grunting and yelping as he tries to figure out how the fuck to get outta this. Which isn't gonna fuckin' happen. All he can do is try to keep his fuckin' feet as high as he can.

"You want me to lower him?" Daryl asks. Shit, that redneck is growing on me.

"Nah. He'll get tired soon," I answer from just a few feet away from the pit. Rick, Michonne, Arat, and Dwight are all standing further back on the other side across from me.

"Jesus Christ!" Eldritch screeches. "You're gonna feed me to them?!"

"Did you _just_ figure that out?" I laugh. "Shit! You really aren't that smart."

"Y-You..." he turns to the others, "you're gonna let him do this to me?!" His voice is fuckin' high pitched and strained.

"You did this to yourself," is Rick's answer.

After a few minutes, and with the blood from Eldritch's feet whipping the dead fucks into a frenzy, he changes tactics. "You can let me go. You'll never see me again. I promise!"

"And let you fuck up some poor innocent peoples lives again?" I scoff. "I think not!"

"I wouldn't!" he snivels. "I would stay by myself!"

"Fuckin' save it!" I bite back.

"I wasn't gonna hurt Chuck! I was gonna give her back!"

"Shut the _fuck_ up!" I yell. "I know what you were gonna do with her!"

"I wasn't- I like Chuck! I wouldn't hurt her!" His feet dip a little too low, but the second he feels the hands of the tallest biter, he tucks his legs back in as quick as he can.

"Don't you say her fuckin' name!" I roar. "I know _exactly_ the fucking monster you are! All those women slaves you had at that compound, they were smarter than your fuckin' men! They survived! And they told us everything!"

I see the realization go across his face. He can't talk his way out of this. There's no fuckin' way he's surviving this day. Then I see his tactics change again. He still has that fear on his face, but he's not gonna fuckin' beg anymore.

"I _was_ going to keep Chuck," he comments. "I was going to raise that baby in her belly as my own and make more after that. As many as I could."

"That didn't fuckin' happen because she _outsmarted_ you, shit-for-brains."

I know what he's doing now. He wants me pissed off so I just kill him. But I want him to suffer too fuckin' much to allow that.

The horse suddenly takes a step back which drops Eldritch a few inches.

"Shit! Shit!" he yelps and tries to keep his feet away from the fuckin' hungry biters.

"Looks like the horse has it out for you, too!" I joke.

After that, Eldritch shuts up, but he's still trying his fuckin' hardest not to get eaten. After close to an hour, his whole body is fuckin' trembling as he struggles to keep his feet out of the walkers' mouths. Then, his legs drop. I guess his fuckin' muscles just failed.

He lets out a fuckin' scream as the dead fucks start to chomp down on his toes. Within fuckin' minutes, there's nothing left of his feet. I'll hand it to the fucker, he's still conscious. Barely, but his eyes are open.

"That's gross as fuck!" I turn to the others, but none of them are even fuckin' watching, all their eyes on the ground. "Back it up," I call out to Daryl.

He lowers Eldritch about a foot and the biters feast on all the new flesh. Eldritch is fuckin' in and out of consciousness, I don't know from the pain or from blood loss. But when he's awake, he's fuckin' screaming. And that's what I want. I want him to realize just how bad he fucked up. And I want him to suffer for it.

I really would have liked to see him get eaten from the feet up and still be alive once the biters got to his head, but as soon as they get to his thighs, he's fuckin' gone. Too much blood loss, I guess. Oh well.

"I'm gonna cut him lose," Daryl calls out.

"No!" I immediately respond. "We're gonna keep that fucker just like this. Leave him to fuckin' turn, half eaten."

Rick starts to walk toward me. "We're not doing that, Negan."

"Yes we are!" I growl out. I hear a noise and turn to see a fuckin' bolt sticking out of Eldritch's head. "No!" I whip my head to Daryl, who lowers his crossbow.

Michonne's calm voice comes from behind me. "We're putting them all down."

As she and Rick start to go to town on the dead fucks in the pit, Daryl cuts the rope loose from the saddle, making Eldritch drop into the growing pile of bodies.

"You didn't have the fuckin' right!" I call out to them.

Rick looks up to me. "It's done, Negan."

"He deserved-" I start, but Rick interrupts me.

"Would Chuck want that?"

"Don't you fuckin' do that," I bite back. But he's right. She wouldn't and I know it.

Daryl walks up to me. "Eldritch deserved to die and that's what happened. He's gone and we're all safer now."

I look down and shake my head. All the shit I imagined I'd do to Eldritch... It's all fuckin' done now. Just an hour's worth and he's dead. That's it.

"You're a father now," Rick says quietly from right beside me. I didn't realize he even walked up to me.

"He almost took that from me, Rick," I whisper and lift my eyes to his.

He sets his hand on my shoulder. "He's gone. Now you can move forward. With your _family_."

I nod my head. I suppose there's nothing else I can fuckin' do about it, anyway.

We all mount up and leave. By the time we're back across the river into Virginia, it's pretty late. I decide to stay overnight in Alexandria and head out in the morning.

After calling Simon on the radio and telling him I'll be back tomorrow, I head to Aaron's to sleep there. It's only been a couple of weeks since he lost his husband, so I figure I should say something to him. Chuck has been keeping in touch with him on the radio almost every fuckin' day, but I haven't talked to him too much.

He gives me a small smile as he opens his door to me. "Hey, Negan."

"Hey, Aaron." I walk into his house. "How you doing?"

"Getting there, I guess." He closes the door. "Are you hungry? I can heat you up some leftovers."

"That sounds fuckin' great."

As I eat at his dining room table, he sits with me sipping on a cup of tea.

"You got him?" he finally asks.

I know he means Eldritch. "Yeah. I got him."

"How?"

I look up from my plate. "Do you really want to know?"

"That man's attack killed my husband. He kidnapped my niece. Yes, I want to know."

I set my fork down. "Rick stopped me from doing what I really wanted. But, I guess he was right to." I let out a sigh. "We dangled him over a pit of biters and let them eat him from the feet up. He died within a goddamn hour. The biters only got up to his fuckin' thighs."

Aaron nods. "Good," is all he says.

I pick up my fork and take another bite. "Chuck really wants to see you," I change the subject.

"Yeah," Aaron replies. "I guess I haven't been much for traveling lately."

"I was thinking that maybe Chuck and Maddie could come here. We've been doing a good ass job at keeping our shit clear and safe. With that fucker Eldritch gone, I think we could do it."

His face lights up. "Really?"

"Yeah. Why not? I might be a nervous wreck the whole way here, but I think it'd be fuckin' nice for Chuck to get out of The Sanctuary for a bit."

"I'd like that a lot."

— —

As soon as Chuck hears on the radio that Negan is approaching, she heads downstairs with Maddie to greet him. Not only is she excited to see Negan, but she wants to hear that Eldritch is finally gone, once and for all.

"There's my girls!" Negan calls out after dismounting his horse. He jogs over to Chuck holding Maddie and scoops them up in a hug.

"Is it over?" Chuck quietly asks.

"Yeah, baby girl. It's over."

As the summer heat starts to cool and the crops near their harvest, life goes on. Quite well, actually. All of the communities are prospering. The free trade between them continues and all of the communities have plans to get through the approaching winter in a few months.

Since it's still pretty nice out, Chuck and Negan are walking the grounds with Maddie, letting her get some sun. Simon makes an appearance and sweeps Maddie away in his arms to walk around the gardens with Chuck and Negan following.

"He's kinda adorable with her," Chuck comments to Negan.

"Yeah. I'm glad he didn't decide to hate my ass for everything."

"He's a good man. I'm glad he's happy with everything. And with Patty, too."

"They are quite the couple." Negan chuckles.

Simon circles around and starts to walk toward Chuck and Negan.

"Say Uncle Si Si," he says to the little girl. "Si Si," he repeats.

Before Negan or Chuck can comment on Simon trying to hijack Maddie's first word, Negan's and Simon's radios go off.

" _We're escorting three people into our territory. Unarmed. No bites, but they're skinny. Look pretty harmless_ ," the savior starts. " _They said they knew Simon. We didn't confirm he was here_."

Simon looks confused as he hands Maddie over to Chuck. "Who the fuck would know me?"

"Looks like we're gonna find out." Negan brings his radio up and pushes the talk button. "I want extra guards on the gates just in case some shit is gonna go down." He turns to Chuck. "Hang back."

"Okay. You think they're a threat?"

"Everyone's a fuckin' threat until they're not."

Laura escorts Chuck a ways back, but still within range to hear what's going on at the gate. After a few minutes of waiting, Chuck sees saviors walking in, surrounding the three newcomers. She sees the instant Simon recognizes them, his face twisted in shock and relief. Negan seems to recognize them, too.

"Holy shit!" Negan calls out.

"Simon!?" the young woman of the group, who looks to be about Chuck's age, almost sobs.

"Mikayla?!" Simon pushes himself through the saviors to wrap the woman in his arms.

The two men, who look to be identical twins in their early twenties, hug him, too.

Chuck, figuring there's no threat, starts to walk towards Negan, eager to figure out who these people are.

Simon pulls away from the hug to get a good look at the men. "And the boys, too." He pats one of them in the cheek. "I thought you were dead."

When Chuck gets close enough to Negan, he wraps his arm around her. She can see that Simon has tears running down his face, so she figures that these newcomers were very close to him before the end.

"Mom died a year ago," one of the boys says, his voice full of emotion. "Grandma about six months after everything went to hell."

Chuck puts it together then. These people are Simon's niece and twin nephews. He had only mentioned them maybe once or twice before. The newcomers end up turning to Negan with smiles on their faces. Negan returns it easily.

"You kids fuckin' grew up." He holds his arms out and the newcomers gladly accept his hug. "Why don't we get you guys to the doctor and get some fuckin' food in you."

Simon goes inside with his family as Chuck and Negan follow behind.

"I'm so happy for Simon," Chuck says to Negan. "He has some of his family back."

"They were always good fuckin' kids," Negan explains. "Simon was real close to them their whole lives. Until they moved to Colorado with their mom. He always hoped this shit didn't make it out there and they were alive."

Maddie starts to fuss in Chuck's arms.

"I better get upstairs to feed her," Chuck comments.

"I'm gonna get the kids all situated."

Chuck giggles at the way he refers to the newcomers. He must've been close to them, as well. It makes sense, considering Negan and Simon were such good friends for so long.

Negan bends down to kiss Maddie's head and then Chuck. "I'll be up later."

Chuck goes back upstairs, with Laura escorting her. The whole time she has a huge smile on her face. She's happy. Negan's happy. And Simon's happy, too.


	6. Chapter 6

"Is she alright?" Negan asks, his voice full of worry.

"Yes, she's alright," Chuck responds, exasperated over the repeated question. "She'll be fine." She leans over the crib to gently wipe Maddie's fat tears away.

"She's fuckin' crying."

"She's _teething_ , Negan. It hurts." She takes the now room temperature teething ring away from the little girl. "Go grab a new one out of the freezer."

Negan practically runs out of the nursery to fetch one to relieve Maddie's sore gums. When he rushes back in, Maddie is still crying. "Here you go, princess." He puts the frozen ring to her mouth. "Fuck. I hate hearing her in pain."

Chuck rubs Negan's back as he's bent over the crib. "I know. But there's not much we can do about this. Everyone goes through it. We just gotta wait it out."

As the cold helps to numb Maddie's gums, she starts to settle a little.

"See?" Chuck says. "She's just fine. You okay with her while I shower?"

"Yeah."

Once Chuck is done with her shower, she finds Negan sitting on the couch in their room with Maddie laying in his arms. "She's doing good," she mentions, since the little girl seems to be quiet. Once Chuck rounds the couch, she can see that Negan has his finger in Maddie's mouth. "I think the _teething ring_ would be better for her to bite than your finger," she jokes, though Maddie seems perfectly content.

"I dipped it in whiskey," he responds.

Chuck's face falls. "You're joking."

"No. It did the trick. She started fuckin' fussing again, but now she's out."

"Negan!" she chides. "You can't do that."

"It's fine, baby girl. Moms have been doing that shit for a hundred years."

"I don't want you giving our baby whiskey." She leans over him and runs her hand over Maddie's hair.

"She was fuckin' crying," he explains like that excuses it.

Chuck shakes her head with a giggle. "She already has you so whipped."

"She's my little princess." He looks down at her and smiles as he gently takes his finger from her mouth.

"Don't spoil her."

"I'm gonna spoil the shit outta her," he responds.

Chuck laughs. "She needs to be humble."

"She will be. I'm not gonna raise her to be a fuckin' asshole."

Chuck just gives him a look. "And how many people have you met that were spoiled as children turned out to be nice, humble adults?"

He looks at her a moment before answering. "Alright, you got a fuckin' point. Spoiled ass kids turn into asshole adults. So how about I'll be the one to spoil her and you can be the disciplinarian. That way she'll be well rounded."

"Is that how it's gonna work out?" she asks with a laugh. "So she'll hate me and love you?"

He just shrugs in response.

A few weeks later, Chuck walks into Negan's office with Maddie in her arms. "Oh, hey, Simon," she greets when she sees him sitting on the other side of Negan's desk. "I didn't know you were up here."

As soon as Maddie sees Simon start to stand from his seat, she reaches out for him.

"There's my girl," Simon calls out and takes the little girl from Chuck.

Negan lets out a huff, but it's not entirely serious. "I thought we were fuckin' working here."

Simon completely ignores Negan as he starts to wiggle his mustache and make faces the way that Maddie always loves.

Chuck can't help but laugh along with her daughter. It's so funny to her that the two most powerful men she knows are reduced to mush by a little girl. "She loves her Uncle Si Si," she mentions.

Once Maddie stops laughing hysterically, she starts to grab at Simon's mustache. And he, of course, lets her.

"How are your _other_ kids?" Chuck asks, referring to his niece and nephews that arrived just over a month ago. "I haven't seen them in a few days."

"They're great." He looks up from Maddie to speak. "I'm so glad that they're here. They had a helluva time out in the shit, walking halfway across the country just to see if I was still alive. I'm just so fuckin' happy they're safe now."

As Simon is talking with Chuck, Maddie keeps patting his face, wanting his attention back on her. She starts to babble a little, then a clear "Si Si" comes out of her mouth.

Everyone is quiet, wondering if they heard what they think they did.

"No _fuckin'_ way my kid's first word is fuckin' Si Si." Negan gets up from his desk to stomp over to them. "Say dada," he prompts Maddie.

She looks at him a moment, then back to Simon. "Si Si."

Chuck walks closer, too. "Did you say 'Si Si'?"

Maddie giggles. "Si Si!"

Simon still hasn't said anything, but when Chuck looks at him, she can see tears in his eyes. She lays her hand on his shoulder. "She does love her Uncle Si Si."

"This is bullshit," Negan gripes, not noticing how this had affected Simon. "Dada. Say dada," he tries again.

Maddie laughs, but just babbles at her father.

Later on that night, Negan is still complaining about it as they get in bed. "My _first_ kid's _first_ word was for fuckin' _Simon_?!"

Chuck rolls her eyes. "It's not that big of a deal."

"It is."

"Stop being a baby."

He shoots her a look. "Why aren't you pissed?"

Of course she had hoped that Maddie's first word would be mama, but the second she saw the look on Simon's face and how much it meant to him, she was fine with it.

Simon never had any kids. He never expressly said why, but Chuck knew it was because of the love he had for Lucille. He never had any serious relationships because he could never stop loving her, even though she was with Negan. In a weird way, Chuck feels guilt over that, even though that past had nothing to do with her.

But then there was the way he reacted to the news of her own pregnancy with Negan. It hurt him. Though he got past it, Chuck still feels a pain for him that he's never been able to get what he wants. Despite the fact that he and Patty have gotten serious and moved in together, they'll most likely never make a family since Patty is middle aged and probably can't get pregnant anymore.

The way Simon is with Maddie and his other niece and nephews proves that he would have been a great father. And deep down, Chuck knows that he would have wanted that for himself. Which is sad to her.

Chuck shrugs in response. "It meant a lot to Simon."

"So?"

"He's never gonna be a father, Negan. We're most likely gonna get more chances to get first words. He never will. And with the way he is with Maddie and his sister's kids, it's obvious he would've loved to be a father."

Negan lets out a sigh and scrubs his hand over his face. "Shit. Am I an asshole?"

"No. I get why you were disappointed she didn't say 'dada', but Simon is part of our family and I love him. I want to see him happy."

Negan lets out a groan. "I don't like hearing you say you love another man."

She giggles and swats at his chest lightly. "It's not like that. He's like the brother I never had."

"Gross. He wants to fuck you."

"He does not."

"You think if I was completely out of the picture he wouldn't fuckin' jump at the chance to be with you?"

"Stop," she answers with a giggle then cuddles up to lay on his chest.

"Simon is the most loyal fuckin' guy I've ever known. Lord knows I haven't deserved it, but I trust that man with my life. But I know he doesn't get over shit. He loved Lucille the whole time she was married to me. Never fuckin' wavered. I bet he loves her just as much now. And I know he loves you the same."

"That makes me feel bad, Negan."

He squeezes her into him so he can kiss the top of her head. "It's not your fault he loves you."

"I know, but I still feel bad about it. I'm just really happy that he's found love with Patty."

"Yeah." Negan nods, though he seems a little skeptical. "I just want you to know... If anything happens to me-"

Chuck sits up to look at him. "Stop. I don't want to hear this."

"No." He pushes her hair back from her face. "Just know that I'm okay with you being with him. He'd lay down his life for you. He'd treat you right."

"If something happens to you, I'm not gonna be with anyone else."

"I want you to be happy..."

"My mom never dated after my dad died. I know men asked her out, but she never took them up on their offers. When I got a little older, I asked her why. She just said that she already met the love of her life. I didn't really understand it at the time, but I do now."

"I don't want you to be alone."

"I won't be. I'll have family and friends. My mother was never lonely or unhappy. She just knew that she'd never love another man like she did my father."

Negan gently pulls her down to meet her in a kiss. "Since you mentioned growing our family..." He flips her around so he's on top of her.

She can't help but squeal at the motion. "Negan, that's not gonna happen yet," she gets out between giggles.

"You know, we're not getting any younger."

She pushes him up to give him a scathing look. "Calling a woman old isn't a great thing to do if you're wanting to get laid."

He just laughs. "That's a good point."

"I don't wanna try until Maddie is at least a year old," she says more seriously.

"Alright." He bends down to kiss her right behind her ear. "Doesn't mean we can't practice," he whispers.

Just a few days later, Maddie adds both "mama" and "dada" to her vocabulary, which she uses generously, much to Negan's delight.

"Dada," Maddie calls out from her mother's arms.

"She doesn't wanna go, Mama." Negan bends down to kiss his daughter on the head.

"Come with us," Chuck suggests.

Negan lets out a huff. "I got shit to do. Unfortunately." He gives her a smirk. "You could come with _me_."

"I want to get back to work, Negan. And the kids are excited to learn music again. _And_ I think Maddie will enjoy herself."

"Alright, fine." He gives Chuck a kiss then takes Maddie from her. "I'll walk you guys down to the fuckin' classroom."

The little family and their ever present guards head downstairs. Once they get into the room, the kids all look at them, excited to get a reprieve from there normal studies. Despite what Negan had said earlier about having work to do, he ends up staying to watch Chuck pick up where she left off with the students, which is how to read sheet music. Each of the kids has a little keyboard so they can find the notes and follow along as Chuck plays the piano that has been set up in the room. Some of the older students are a little more advanced, so she goes over chords with them.

As Chuck plays and sings, she sees Negan with a big smile on his face watching on, Maddie bobbing away happily in his arms. It brings a smile to her own face seeing them so happy. Not only that, but the fact that the kids seem to be enjoying the music makes that smile stretch just that much further.

When Halloween comes around, everyone at The Sanctuary seems to be excited. People remember the party from last year and want to make this year's celebration even bigger. Chuck, of course, gets her costume all ready as well as one for Maddie. When Negan first sees them, he can't help but let out a little laugh.

"You are so fuckin' adorable," he calls out.

Since Chuck was a cat last year, she thought it would be really cute if she dressed up as a mouse this year. She found some gray tights and a gray long sleeved T-shirt and paired that with pink converses, white gloves, and mouse ears that she made herself along with a overalls cut into shorts. (She's not confident enough with her post baby body to only wear form fitted tights.) For Maddie, she found a bright yellow onesie and drew little circles on it so it looked like holes, making Maddie look like a slice of cheese.

Chuck shrugs a shoulder. "I thought it was cute."

He walks over to them, placing a kiss on Maddie's head as she sits in Chuck's arms then one for Chuck, too. "So fuckin' cute."

"Are you dressing up?" Chuck asks.

"Thought I'd be the devil again. Make it like a tradition."

The party goes off without a hitch, both the children's one and the adult one after. Chuck loves to see everyone dressed up and having fun. It doesn't escape her notice that there are a lot of women sporting pregnant bellies under their costumes. Apparently after Maddie's birth, there was somewhat of a baby boom at The Sanctuary.

 _Kayla and Harlan must be busy._

Chuck smirks at the thought. Despite how busy the doctor's office is, they must be happy that they get to bring so many new lives into the world.

The first family ends up leaving the festivities a little early, since they have an almost seven month old in tow. Once they get Maddie out of her little costume, they set her down in her crib. The little girl falls asleep almost instantly, the excitement of the day talking its toll on her.

As Chuck and Negan get into bed, she notices that he's been unusually quiet. And as they start to get comfortable, Negan is being much more cuddly than usual, almost stiflingly so.

"Negan?"

"Hmm."

"You alright?"

He squeezes his arms around her a little more from his position behind her. "Yeah."

"You have me in a death grip, Negan."

He lets out a heavy breath onto the back of her head. "It's been a year since Eldritch took you," he finally whispers into her hair.

Chuck starts to turn around, so Negan loosens his arms to allow her to. "He's gone, Negan. You don't have to worry about him." She runs her fingers over his forehead, hoping to soothe him.

"I know he's gone, but I can't fuckin' get over it. He took you from me. And _her_."

Chuck bends down to kiss his lips. "She's right over there in her room, safe and sound. You can hear her breathing on the monitor."

"I know." He wraps his arms around Chuck and pulls her down to lay on his chest. "I _know_ that, but I still think of everything he fuckin' did to you. All the ways it could've ended in me fuckin' losing you and Maddie."

"I'm sorry, Negan. I don't want you to dwell on it, though. What we have now is so beautiful. Just remember that when your thoughts go dark."

He kisses the top of your head. "I'll try, baby girl."

In the coming days, Maddie realizes that she can crawl, which she does. A lot. When she's in her room, she crawls over to her bookcase and pulls all the books and toys off it. Then she crawls over to her toy chest and pulls those things out. When she's done, her whole room is trashed, which she finds pretty amusing.

During this time, Chuck has never been more thankful of the extra guards hanging around their apartment. Because Chuck loves the cats so much, she doesn't want to close them out of the apartment by shutting the door. But since Maddie _also_ loves the cats, she'll follow them right out while Chuck isn't looking. Thankfully, both Laura and Arat are good at rounding Maddie up when she goes on the move. And Sam and José on the front door to Negan's office have stopped her more than once from escaping down the hall. Maddie never seems to care too much; she loves the extra attention she gets from everyone.

Because Maddie is so mobile, Negan has to have a special case made for Lucille to keep her well out of Maddie's reach. Instead of being left on the floor propped up on the wall, Lucille has her own display shelf near the door to the bedroom. When Negan's in his office, Lucille is usually put up on one of the bookshelves, since Maddie routinely likes to crawl up to her daddy while he's at his desk.

"Maddie's coming through," Arat calls out, like she always does.

As soon as Chuck hears this, she comes out of the apartment. "I don't know how she's such a little escape artist," she says to herself.

"Let her come," Negan answers. If he's too busy for Maddie, he'll tell whoever's on the door to take her back inside. But today, Negan is just sitting at his desk talking with Dwight.

Maddie crawls right over to Negan and tries to pull herself up his legs, with Chuck following behind.

"My beautiful princess," Negan says to her and he helps her up into his lap. "Are you escaping from Mommy?"

"I had her in her little playpen while I was reading. I thought she couldn't get out, but I guess I was wrong." Chuck sits down in the chair beside Dwight. "How's Sherry? I haven't seen her in a while," she directs at the man beside her.

"Good," he answers. "Real busy in the kitchen."

Negan looks up from making faces at Maddie. "I hear everyone's fuckin' happy with the new head chef."

"With all the trade and how good the harvest was this year, the kitchen's doing real well," Dwight comments.

"I'm glad," Chuck says genuinely.

"She getting on ya to put a baby in her," Negan asks. "Since everyone else is pregnant, it fuckin' seems."

Dwight gets a little bashful. "We're not- I mean, nothing serious. You know- But we've been talking about it."

"That's great," Chuck says with a smile. "I'm so happy that Maddie is going to have some kids her age to run around with."

"She's certainly a little social butterfly already," Negan adds.

"I wonder who she got that from," Chuck says sarcastically, knowing full well that Maddie is already more like Negan than she is Chuck, despite the physical resemblance to her mother."

"Think it'd be too much if I decreed that all babies will have the middle name Negan?" the man himself comments.

Chuck just laughs, knowing that Negan is joking. "I don't think that's gonna catch on."

"I like the sound of that." Negan lifts Maddie up in the air. "You like that, princess?"

The little girl just laughs.

"She agrees," Negan determines, faking seriousness.

— Negan's POV —

Before the winter sets in, Rick fuckin' requests that all us leaders in the area should meet at Alexandria to discuss some things. It's probably a good fuckin' idea, but I don't want to leave my family. So I think that shit over. Seriously.

With how often the area between us and Alexandria is patrolled and the fact that no one's really seen any fuckin' biters near the road in a long ass time, I decide to take Chuck and Maddie with me. It's got me anxious as fuck, but I think it's gonna be good.

I know I'm "Negan" and I'm certainly the fuckin' leader of The Sanctuary, but I've honestly been going over shit with Chuck. It's fuckin' nice to have someone like her to rule with me. I mean, I always had Simon and I love that fucker for all the shit he does here, but he's more than likely to just go along with what I say. That's fuckin' amazing most of the time, but there's been instances where Chuck's come in with a different perspective and it's been better for everyone involved.

I've been so concerned with keeping my people alive that that's were I fuckin' go to when I gotta make a decision. Always. But Chuck's been the one to make sure people are _happy_ , too. When shit is real bad, like how it was when this place started, happiness ain't a priority. But now that we got enough food and clean water and we don't have to worry about getting our dicks bitten off by undead fucks, we need to make sure our people are emotionally good, too. Cuz discontent can break nations just as much as hunger can.

So, yeah, part of the reason I'm bringing my girls with me is just cuz I fuckin' want them _with_ me. But part of me wants Chuck to be at my side as the leader she is. She might not see herself that way, but I do. She can rally people just as much as I can, but in a completely different way. I did it with fear, intimidation, and rigid rules. You piss me off, you go against the greater good, you're out.

But Chuck... she's gotten the people behind her by being her sweet ass self. She's smart and funny and fuckin' adorable and people know she has their best interests in mind. She's set up swap meets outside the point system to help the people that have been struggling. She knitted so many fuckin' blankets just to make sure people won't be cold this winter. And what I'm most proud of, she's been good to those kids she teaches music to by tutoring them in whatever else they want to learn. Shit, one kid brought up World War 2, so Chuck found a book and started talking to him about it after school was actually done. Anything those kids are curious about, science, history, even old movies, she'll talk to them about it. I know that shit might not seem important now, but it fuckin' is. It's how we raise _people_ and not fuckin' monsters that just survive in this shit.

The weather's not too fuckin' bad yet since it's just the first week on November, but we still all bundle up in case shit goes downhill. Me, Chuck, and my princess are going to be in a wagon drawn by our horses. It's gonna be less comfortable and take fuckin' longer than a car would, but it's all we got now. Cars are kinda fuckin' useless without gas, and that ethanol shit we've been making really doesn't work in most cars just in its own. It works better in the tractors and tillers, anyway, so that's where it all goes.

The wagon we're in is like an old west wagon, but we took some car seats and put them in there so we're not getting splinters in our asses. Dwight and Fat Joey are up front driving the thing while me, Chuck, Maddie, and Laura are in the back.

"I didn't expect the road to look so good," Chuck comments after a while.

"We're on top of this shit," I say. "Our guys and Rick's patrol all this shit. Keep the roads clear if trees fall or whatever. We can't exactly repave, so if there's cracks, we fill them up with gravel so we don't lose a fuckin' wagon wheel."

Chuck gives me a smile as Maddie starts to fuss in her arms. "I'm so proud of you doing all this."

I just chuckle back, but it does make me feel fuckin' good that she's on board with everything I do. "Is she hungry?" I ask, changing the subject to our daughter.

"Yeah."

"Do we need to stop?"

"No. I can do it here. Just hold her a second." She passes Maddie off to me as she pulls her shirt up.

"Keep your eyes up front," I call out to Dwight and Fat Joey. I don't want them getting an eyeful of my wife's tit. Even if it's gonna be covered by Maddie's face.

Laura leans forward from her seat behind us. "You planning on weaning her any time soon?"

"Not really," Chuck answers as she situates Maddie in her arms to start feeding. "We have her eating some solid things, but breast milk is so good for babies."

"She's prepared to breastfeed Maddie until she's a teenager," I joke. We've talked about this more than once. I think it's fuckin' weird to have a full on toddler sucking on a tit, but Chuck insists it's perfectly fine.

"That's not true," Chuck calls out with a laugh. "Just maybe until she's like... five or so."

"Five?!" I say in shock. "She's got a bunch of fuckin' teeth by then."

"Yeah," Laura pipes up. "Your poor nipples."

Chuck just laughs. "Breast milk is better for brain development!" she calls out, pleading her case.

Once we get to Alexandria, we're greeted by Rick and his gang. Aaron, of course, comes rushing out to see Chuck and Maddie.

"She's getting so big!" he cries out and takes Maddie into his arms.

Maggie and Glenn walk up to us with him carrying their baby Herschel. Aaron brings Maddie close so she can see someone her own fuckin' age for once. Both babies look confused, but then start babbling and patting each other with their little fuckin' hands.

"He's adorable," Chuck comments to Maggie.

"She's beautiful," Maggie responds of my little princess.

Maggie walks over to Chuck and hugs her. "I can never thank you enough for what you did for me. You saved my son's life by giving us your milk."

"Any mother would do that," Chuck says to her. "Without any formula now... We just have to take care of each other."

I let out a laugh. "We were literally just talking about this shit on the way here. My lovely wife wants to keep our kid on the teat until she turns five."

Chuck just gives me a look. "It's not that weird! Historically speaking," she makes the excuse.

"Well I can't wait until I can play around with your tits without them leaking all over he place."

"Oh my god, Negan." Chuck's face is bright red. Whoops.

"What?" I try to downplay it. "I'm pretty sure they know we fuck. We've got a kid." I look around at everyone that heard what I said. Some of them are stifling laughs and some are looking a little offended. What-the-fuck-ever. They should be used to me by now.

When I see Carl trying desperately to hide his face, I decide to fuck with him a little. "He knows what I'm talking about."

Everyone looks at him and it's fuckin' hilarious how he squirms.

"Negan," I hear Michonne's low mom voice scold me.

"He's, what, sixteen?" I start. "Tits make up like 80% of his thoughts now."

Rick just shakes his head, but I can still see a little smile on his face. "Stop teasing my son, please," he finally says.

"Alright." I back down from that. "So what's this fuckin' meeting we're having, anyway."

"We're still waiting for Ezekiel," Rick tells me. "So you guys can relax until they get here."

Me and Chuck follow Aaron, still carrying Maddie, to his house. We're staying with him tonight and he seems fuckin' excited about it.

"I borrowed a little crib for her," he tells us. "It's set up in the spare room for you guys. I also have a play pen and some toys to keep her occupied, since you said she likes to crawl around so much."

"Thanks Uncle Aaron," Chuck says to him.

We all bum around for about twenty minutes until the lion king and his crew finally make their appearance. Me and Chuck with Maddie (and Laura) go to a newly constructed meeting room behind their church along with Rick's A team and Ezekiel and a few of his guys. We set up the play pen for Maddie and Hershel and Judith, too, across the room with Laura and Olivia the Alexandrian watching over them.

"So," I slap my hand down on the long table we're all sitting around, "what are we fuckin' discussing here?"

Rick lets out a breath before he fuckin' starts. "Here at Alexandria, we've decided to run this place as a council. Me, Michonne, Gabriel, Maggie, and Aaron currently sit on this council. Every decision about the community comes to a vote and we've found that has been working well for us."

Michonne jumps in. "I've been reading a lot about constitutional law and I thought, with how our community has grown and thrived, that we should draw up a constitution for ourselves. But then I thought, our community isn't alone. We're tied with your communities," she gestures to me and Ezekiel. "Through trade, intermarriage, people coming and going, and through fighting a common enemy. So we thought," she looks to the members of her council then back to us, "we should draw up a charter. Cement this relationship and everything it means to us in writing."

As I think it over, Ezekiel jumps right in. "That is a wonderful idea," he says with that huge ass smile on his face. "The Kingdom is ready and willing to participate in this endeavor."

Everyone then looks to me expectantly. Maybe a little nervously. I just shrug. "Doesn't sound like the dumbest of fuckin' things. So I guess I'm in, too."

The Alexandrians all look like they have something to say but they don't wanna fuckin' say it. Me and Zeke are clearly out of the loop, which kinda pisses me off.

"Yes?" I prod so they'll spit it the fuck out.

They all look to Aaron who clears his throat before he starts to fuckin' talk. "I've been spending some time at Hilltop," he starts, which I already fuckin' know since Jesus told me he's training him to fight. Which I think is just a gay euphemism, but whatever. "I asked Jesus to come here today for the discussion, but he declined because he didn't want to make waves..." he makes sure to look at me, "with you."

"Alright. So?" I respond.

"He's the leader of Hilltop," Michonne answers.

"He's the _governor_ of Hilltop," I correct her. " _I'm_ the leader. Hilltop is under _my_ control."

Gabriel decides to jump in. "We think it's time for Hilltop to gain its independence," he says in that creepy ass tone of his.

"Oh, _do you_?" I bite back. "What the fuck is this?" I call out as I look around. "Did Hilltop put you up to this?"

Aaron holds his hands up. "No. They didn't."

"Then why the _fuck_ are you putting your nose into my business?"

Michonne answers. "We would like them to be involved in this charter. They should have just as many rights as we do."

I let out a huff. "All I'm fuckin' hearing is that you want to fuckin' cut my population and resources. I'm not a fucking idiot, Rick. I know I got more people than you _or_ The Kingdom. More crops, too. But that might not be the fuckin' case if I cut Hilltop off. So let me ask you this, asshole. Are you planning on starting shit with me? Going to war, is that it?"

"No," Rick responds firmly. "Absolutely not, Negan. That is _not_ what we want."

"Well then what the fuck is this? A humanitarian issue? The Hillfolk aren't fuckin' starving. I'm not taking all their shit to their detriment like fuckin' England did with Ireland two hundred goddamn years ago. I'm fuckin' good to Hilltop. My men keep them safe there and it's pissing me right the fuck off that you're insinuating that they'd be better off without me!"

I feel Chuck's hand grasp my knee from under the table, distracting me for a second. Which I'm sure was her intention, though I'm fuckin' glad she decided to do it discretely and not in front of all these people.

As I'm taking a breath, she clears her throat. "I think the idea to have our own constitutions is a very good one," she starts, and I can tell she's nervous. "And this charter is something we can work on, but I think it makes more sense to get those constitutions in writing before we take that next step. Before we start to discuss the details of how our communities interact with each other, we should lock down what our citizens rights are first. For The Sanctuary, that will include the rights of Hilltop's people. Any possible changes to our relationship with them will be discussed by _us_ and _them_."

Everyone mulls over what she said. Even me. I'm a little fuckin' surprised that she not only managed to de escalate the situation, but she told everyone here that Hilltop is our business. And our business is _our_ business.

Rick clears his throat to move on. "Yes. We should shoot to have our separate constitutions finalized by the spring. Then, we can reconvene to discuss any treaties."

"Until then," Ezekiel jumps in, "we should continue our trade as we have been. Weather permitting, of course, as winter is almost upon us. And if, god forbid, one of our communities finds itself in need of assistance, we should all pledge to come to her aid in whatever way necessary."

We all agree and with that, this fuckin' meeting adjourns. Though I'm sure it didn't end the way Rick and the fuckin' rest of his goddamn gang had hoped. Now me and Chuck are off to Aaron's house to stay the night and I'm not fuckin' sure I can keep my mouth shut.

Which, of course, I can't. As soon as we put Maddie to bed, I lay into Aaron as we sit in his living room.

"What the fuck, Aaron?" I manage to keep my voice down so I don't wake my princess upstairs, but my tone is still fuckin' angry.

"I'm sorry," he has the sense to say.

Chuck looks over to her uncle. "Why didn't you tell us before that this is what you guys were planning? We talk like everyday."

"We wanted to do this _officially_ ," Aaron explains. "The council didn't want me using this family connection-"

"You're _on_ the fuckin' council!" I call out.

Chuck lays her hand on my shoulder to calm me down. "Maybe he's right."

I whip my head to glare at her. "You're taking his fuckin' side?!"

"No. I'm not. I don't think they should be getting between us and our affairs with our people, but maybe we shouldn't be discussing it outside of..." she thinks a moment, "office hours. So tensions don't rise."

Aaron lets out a heavy breath. "I don't want this to get between us," he says to me. "You're my family. And I love you for the way you treat Chuck and Maddie. We..." he pauses, " _Alexandria_ ," he corrects, "isn't going to _demand_ you do anything. We just, I don't know, wanted to suggest it. Keep that option open for Hilltop."

I shake my head at that. "You had to've known that shit would piss me off."

"I did. That's why I thought if it came from me, it might be better."

"And what about Jesus? And tell the fuckin' truth, Aaron." I ask, wondering if I'm gonna have to bash his manbun head in for starting a fuckin' coup.

"He didn't start this. Honestly. You can blame me if you need to blame someone. I've been heading out to Hilltop a lot and I told Rick and everyone how great the place is run. I really don't know who put the idea in everyone's head, but we all just thought that maybe if the Hilltop was independent, it could make us all stronger in the end."

I sit back into the couch, letting out a fuckin' huff in response. When I look over to Chuck, I can see that she's tired. "You wanna go to bed?" I ask her. I'm fuckin' done with this conversation anyway.

"Yeah," she answers.

I get up from the couch with a groan and hold my hand out to her. "Come on, baby girl. Let's get some sleep."

When Chuck stands up, so does Aaron.

"I really am sorry, Negan," he says from behind me. "I don't think we handled that right. But we really just want what is best for everyone, _all_ the communities."

I turn back at him and nod. "Well..." I look down then look back up to him, "since you decided to spring shit on me, as punishment, I'm gonna have loud sex with Chuck in your guest room."

Aaron scrunches up his face. "Come on, man."

Chuck slaps my shoulder, then looks over to her uncle with her cheeks all red. "That's-That's not gonna happen."

I just laugh as I continue up the stairs. I'm still fuckin' pissed, but I guess it's not worth throwing away my relationship with Chuck's uncle. Or with the other communities. I just fuckin' hope they don't press the issue because I'm not sure what will happen if they do.


End file.
